Humour: The Villager: Imperialism eating away culture

We live in rather a very funny world; believe it or not, every aspect of our life is getting less and less serious, even lesser. Nothing seems to be growing more and more but the contrary. I have researched and counter researched on the above phenomenon and I have discovered its authenticity. Some of you might rubbish my thesis as merely a ranting villager. The truth is that, all of us are villagers, but it is only the degree of the village in us that varies greatly. I do not blame anybody about anything; rather, it should be the fault of changing times coupled with technology. The other day, we went to Umutara to visit some old folks, not that we love them very much but because its one of the errands of villagers, to pay visits. I had accompanied a good friend of mine who happens to be a villager brought up in far off lands commonly known as Diaspora (don’t ask me where that country is, I too do not know). This guy was accompanied by his cute sister; going by her skin and looks, one might be tempted to think that she bathed milk and not water. Just as we arrived in the village, the girl rushed to the mum and went straight for her cheek in the commonly known bisou (kiss) gesture. You could have seen the old lady’s face turn grey as if struck by a highly contagious disease like Ebola. In brief, the daughter in law had become “manner-less”! When you observe trends, nearly everything is changing to become less and less. Are you puzzled? In our office, our telephones are now “cordless”, the communication has all become “wireless”, most of my friend shave off all their hair in the so called shaolin and hence, they have all become “hairless”. Guys around town have been over “de-toothed” and have become “toothless”. Walk around some of the so-called developed cities; we dress “topless”; what about cooking? We have decided to go “microware”, a phenomenon that is “fireless”. We are agitating for “fatless” foods as if our fore fathers (and their chain keepers) never ate the fatty foods but lived up to a ripe one hundred years and yet we succumb to the “wireless calls” of the creator at a mere fifty or so! Technological enhancements have totally changed the way we work, in the villages, we used to toil from sun up till sun down and yet never got exhausted; but now, every form of work has been mad “effortless”, making the human beings “jobless”, which in turn will make all our efforts “worthless”! Do you notice how we are getting less and less by the day? Should I continue or stop here? Well, maybe let me just push on a little bit, I feel, my column is getting “valueless”. On a lesser side of life, we are getting self conceited to the extent that, our relations are getting “loveless” as a result of our being “heartless”. The other day, I observed some guys working in a busy office, I was greatly disappointed to notice that, they were all mechanically working, no love for the work they did, in brief, our attitudes have become “careless”; this is as a result of having attained a form of education that may be termed as “useless”. Many of our kith and kin are exhibiting “shameless” behaviour, leading to “countless” follies. The other day, I overheard a group of the so-called elites of our society, they were seated at the popular “Car Wash”, ironically, not washing their cars but “throat washing”, they were in the company of what looked like “chainless” keepers. They were all arguing about a phenomenon that they did not know. All their arguments were quite “baseless”; I am the villager and none of those. I have a very good friend who once remarked that, he was tired of working and earning a “worthless” salary because his bosses were “brainless”, how would they keep paying him a non living wage when his tasks were quite “countless”! Let me not hope that, one day, I will wake up to find my self “hopeless”. This reminds me of our one time History teacher at St. Leo’s College Kyegobe, the good guy was happily married to a wife called “Hope”, one day, his chain keeper “jumped bail” on him and returned to the home of her kith and kin, when the gentleman came to teach, he was totally devastated that he excused himself by telling us that, he was now “hopeless” and so could not concentrate on his work, he begged us to allow him go and become “Hope full” (get the chain keeper back) only then would he be in position to impart matter in an appropriate manner befitting a man of his calibre. Mfashumwana@fastmail.fm