Bride price is one of the treasured marital customs; most African countries practice it as a way of honouring the bride and their parents. But as years have gone by, as with most cultural norms, ‘bride price’ has been negated by many as something that undervalues women, and also, a means for some families to extort money from the groom. Earlier this week, a Member of Parliament, suggested that ‘bride price’ be scrapped as a requirement for marriage. His opinion was based on the notion that without it, some problems facing Rwandan families could be prevented. Much as this tradition has long been held as a custom that gives formal acknowledgement to marriages, some argue that ‘bride price’ fuels domestic abuse, and puts women in a position of disadvantage in a marriage union, and as such has made the practice lose its traditional value. However, so much goes into family dynamics; making a marriage work takes commitment, sacrifice, and mutual respect, among other issues. And if any of these are ‘faulty’ in an individual, must a law be enacted to address that? Society has a duty to build dynamics that work; to form patterns that override the old norms that are now harmful, but above all, find a way to preserve culture as a crucial part of society. Where things are not working, reforming can also be an option. According to the National Institute of Statistics of Rwanda, the number of divorce cases has sharply risen from about 1,300 in 2018 to about 9,000 in 2019. Some 46% of ever-married women aged 15-49 have experienced spousal violence, whether physical, sexual, or emotional, compared to 18% of men age 15-49. It would be a supposition to correlate bride price as a factor in all those cases of abuse. An abusive husband doesn’t necessarily need bride price to be violent. Behaviour, good or bad, mostly boils down to an individual. Bride price can hence still be an important part of marriage, but this should be done for ceremonial purposes. And to refrain from varying misperceptions, Rwandans can consider sticking to cows for ‘bride price’ other than money, for symbolic purposes.
