“How do you know he is cheating?” I was asked a by a close friend and, despite always having a ready answer for her for such questions in the past, this time I found myself dumbfounded. I tried to think but found that I didn’t have even a single sign for her. I was amazed that despite how I am always fast to point out how much men are dogs, I had nothing that led me to this conclusion. I therefore decided to go and find out what would convince the ladies and the gentlemen that their partners, were sharing their beds, and was surprised by some of the responses. Carol, a lady in her late twenties, says she smelt a rat when her husband started coming home late, claiming to have been at the office working late. “He always used to be home for dinner but suddenly he started calling saying he had to finish something at the office. That was then that I knew that something wasn’t right,” Carol says. Of course some men are very busy and genuine when they say they have to work late but then, if there is a sudden change in behaviour and if you partner won’t be open about what he is doing exactly at the office when you ask, then my dear you need to be very worried. Another lady Annabel 25, Is fast to say that men are very cunning and wise and will probably play their game so well that you won’t be able to detect their betrayal, but she added that if one is attentive, these signs will be seen. “My boyfriend of five years suddenly started visiting the gym and caring about what he wore,” Annabel confides. “He also asked how he looked more than he did before. Of course I felt a nudge of pleasure knowing that finally he was putting in an effort to look good for me, little knowing that the fruits would be reaped by someone else,” she added. You all know how perfect you want to look when you’ve just met someone and are trying to impress them. Things that you had ceased to care about in your relationship begin to matter in a bid to impress the new partner. This explains the abrupt gym visits and the effort to look more appealing. Phones have often brought partners together but have also caused turmoil in relationships and marriages. Just as she/ he used texts to communicate to you, the same means will be used to reach your rival. Openness in any relationships is important and it’s assumed that since you share the bed, you should also share everything else. So if your partner suddenly becomes protective over his/her phone, jumping whenever it rings and wanting to take it everywhere he or she goes, including the toilet, then you need to start worrying. If he opts to receive his calls out of the room and gets defensive when you who ask was calling, then he probably is hiding something, otherwise he would answer you simply. Humans are sexual beings and sexual satisfaction is one of our needs much as some people want to deny it. When in a relationship it’s only normal that this need be met otherwise it’s no good being in one. Most women are known to feign sickness to avoid intimacy with their partners, but there is always a reason, and it might be that she is seeing someone else. Mike, 32, a lawyer, says his girlfriend started by feigning headaches and stomach aches, and then she finally just lost interest and told him she didn’t want to have sex with him. He later found out she had been seeing someone else. The moment you start having intimate relations with someone else, you lose interest in the person you are with and you might even start comparing the two. Your partner may stop appealing to you sexually and if you are getting it from someone else, you definitely won’t need it from them. Many people will claim to have a medical problem, but if so then you should visit a doctor for consultation and a solution, if not then this could be the explanation. Patience, 29, had me surprised by saying that expression of too much love could also be a sign of cheating. Is there any such thing as too much love? I wondered. Apparently there is. She explained that her husband started showing her too much attention out of the blue, buying her unexpected gifts, showering her with compliments and giving her money even when she didn’t ask for it. He even helped around the house, something he never did before. It was all too good to be true. She later told a friend about how changed her husband was and that’s when her eyes were opened. She was told that he couldn’t have changed overnight and could only be doing it as a cover up. And she was right. Patience discovered her husband was seeing another woman. A partner who is creeping around will try to be extra nice to their spouse, hoping that this will prevent them noticing anything amiss but this at times backfires and only exposes the mischief. You must be thinking now that you are well equipped with knowledge of the signs, he won’t get away with it this time but this list is not exhaustive and even if you notice your spouse doing one of these things, it’s not conclusive of the fact that he or she is cheating. You may need to look for more incriminating signs to be able to pin him or her down or you could just chill and accept that you are among the lucky ones that got a good man. Ends
