THE HATER : I hate people who…

…celebrate birthdays without mentioning their age. The Hater is one of the few people who do not celebrate birthdays. First of all it implies that you are getting closer to your last days here and secondly, my parents never bothered to tell me the exact date I was born! However I really hate with a passion all those people who celebrate birthdays but still lie about their age. Others simply invite you to the party but do not mention the years they have accumulated. How can you know the date out of 364 other days but fail to know the year and do the corresponding math? This cannot keep you young or immortal. In fact I hope all those with this habit do not live to celebrate another birthday! Yes I am very annoyed. …use whatever they are holding as an umbrella. The rains are here and it is El Nino I am talking about. Those who do not know what El Nino is should stop reading and reach for a dictionary NOW. The rest of you should know the hatred I have for all those who instead of umbrellas use their books, newspapers and anything they are carrying as a way of stupidly improvising to cover their heads when it is raining. I even saw a part time thinker close to Rubangura’s house using his gently used laptop as an umbrella! If you cannot buy an umbrella, please stay home so that you save us from your abundant mental inefficiencies. …call hotel staff as if they are their servants. The fact that extended families are so common in Africa shouldn’t be an excuse for such lousy behaviour. I am talking about those uncultured people who while in restaurants call waiters and waitresses like they are their children or servants. There are surely better ways of getting one’s attention instead of stupidly calling out Niko! We are always talking about customer care but the behaviour of some customers also leaves a lot to be desired. We need to respect each other. I just hope that next time you behave stupidly in a restaurant; you get choked on your food or at worst you get food poisoning. …talk with a lot of conviction about things they know not about. Just last week I heard someone convincingly talking about how delicious some chapattis are. We were all so moved by his conviction but when we tried to find out more about the chapattis the joker revealed that he had actually never tasted them but was only told by someone else! The anger I had then is still so strong even as I write this. Why would someone put so much energy in an ignorance-laden endeavour? Was he being paid by someone or what? I cannot stop hating such guys. …only remember their sickness when they see a doctor. I have to end by hating the guy who remembered that his computer had a problem after seeing the IT girl. There are many people with this lousy habit. When they see a doctor they remember their diseases, when a mechanic passes by they remember that their car needs some repairs. May be it is just another way of kicking off a conversation with these people. Why don’t you talk to these people when the problem has just been realised? Waiting for the doctor is just a sign that I should hate you! Yes I hate you so much. Let me help you hate by sending your suggestions to thehater2009@gmail.com