Relationships: Teacher-student love relationships should be shunned

Love relationships between teachers and students in secondary schools are worrying parents today. Teachers give small favours in form of high marks, good comments and no punishments even when the students merit for them. Though some students are interested and long for them, it costs parents a lot. Several students give their experiences of how teachers trap them into love affairs, instead of focusing on the academic aspect of the teacher-student relationship. Ninsimire Annet, a senior two student in one of the well perceived-to-be good schools, told me the ordeal of how teachers trap students into love affairs. The first time to be lured by a teacher into a love affair was in 2005 during her vacation. She was studying computer applications. She joined the computer school later after her fellow students had already covered some programs. Ninsimire says, “It was hard for me in the first week since the teacher did not have time to make a summary of what other students had finished.” Barely four days after, Ninsimire got a friend called Joel who became a real friend, so much that he offered part of his lunch time to help her go through all the stuff they had covered. Everything had gone well with Ninsimire, only to change when the teacher found them in the computer laboratory trying to recapitulate what he had taught before. He seemed not pleased when he said “You people isn’t it time for lunch, these computers are not there for every one.” He immediately chased them out of the room. The young lady was so stunned at the teacher’s action. She never expected the teacher to be too rude over an academic issue which was in her favour. The teacher used not to bather about her, basing on the fact that she joined late. The next day Ninsimire was called by the same teacher during lunch hours. He apologised to her for being so harsh but it didn’t end at that. He tried to show extra care that was not called for which later developed into a personal relationship. “The teacher reached the point of hating my class mate Joel saying that I used to chat a lot with him.” One day, the teacher invited Ninsimire for lunch. Much as she never wanted to honour the invitation, she feared to turn it down due to consequences that would follow there after. “During our lunch he started to appreciate my appearance to please me, but I was already disgusted with the whole conversation because I expected to hear issues to do with his teaching and whether I understood.” Due to fear Ninsimire started avoiding lessons. She tried to hold her feelings back because she didn’t want any trouble before the teacher. She used to get invitations for dates which she put off because she feared being lured into sex to which she says, “I was really burdened, but I managed to overcome it.” In many schools it is against the institution’s rules and regulations for teachers and students to date. However, this does not stop teachers from playing short time hidden relationships with students. Students always miss classes to avoid the teachers who want to date them. If they manage to attend, they seldom ask questions and in most cases lose respect for some teachers. Such situations of teacher-student relationships worry parents, especially when their daughters have to become pregnant at a tender age; teachers will usually not take responsibility because a good number may have families. One student, (name withheld) at Fawe Girl’s School was bold enough to speak out about the worry. “The teacher-student relationship is on the rise. Almost every student is in love with a male teacher.” She adds that “Some male teachers take advantage of innocent girls just because they can... yet when the inevitable happens it doesn’t affect one student but all the girls loved by that teacher. This causes conflict and hatred among students. It makes students lose concentration and focus in class which in the end affects their grades. Teachers give small favours in form of high marks, good comments and no punishments even when the students are in wrong. Some students though, are also interested in these little favours and continue to long for them; a situation that worries parents and guardians the more. However, there are many innocent teachers who are not for intimate relationships with students. In some cases the girls themselves go after the teachers. They provoke teachers by wearing seductive outfits; mini-skirts and low cut tank tops that show the navel at the berry. For any man, that is not an easy thing to turn down. Girls can be little devils when it comes to getting what they want. At this point teachers speak out on what really happens. Moses Ibingira, a teacher at Nyagatare High School says, “I enjoy teaching students because their curiosity fuels my own, and their questions cause me to think more.” However, in most cases it is sentiments and lack of self control that the teacher-student relationship turns out into a love affair. Schools should encourage those special relationships between teachers and students. They infuse that energy and inspiration into the learning process. Serious measures should be put to those who abuse its purpose. Likewise, a teacher’s perception of student characteristics and abilities appear to systematically vary by gender. Other studies find male students benefit at the expense of female students in terms of interaction received from teachers of both genders. It is important for the students to interact with their teachers in school. This helps the students to feel free in class participation by asking questions, and even asking for advice in matters outside academic spheres. These relationships between students and teachers, especially in secondary schools worry not only parents and guardians, but also students themselves who are prone to miss out on their academic goals. Ends