Diaspoman: When Messenger sent me to Nyabugogo

Last week I found myself at the Nyabugogo bus park. I was there to meet someone special all the way from Kampala. She had boarded Jaguar bus and heading to Kigali to pay me a visit. I had exchanged a few e-mails with her for a few weeks. We had also exchanged photographs via the interne. As I have been telling you recently, I can also proudly announce that I am now an employee. Although my monthly salary is not channeled through the payroll, I still walk majestically to office to claim for it. As I have been narrating to you before, I landed a nice Kiraka of ‘keying’ some old archived data into a computer. At this mega office in Kigali city, I sit somewhere in a squeezed cubicle where I proceed to key in the information into the database. Luckily enough, the computer which I use is connected to the internet. This has allowed me to engage in chat rooms via Skype or Yahoo Messenger. In the middle of my work, messages pop up on my Computer screen. When I respond, I get instant replies. So, I have been enjoying this free service and in the process I have fallen in love….hmm! Diaspoman had finally met the girl of his dreams through messages we were exchanging via the chat room were full of romance. We continued to chat every day for about 2 weeks. As we chatted, the friendship grew from one level to another. In the heat of the moment, I found myself writing certain things to her that were not entirely true. For example, I found myself telling her that I was the Managing Director of a Company called Technologies Link Ltd. I told her that this Company was created to solve all the internet problems in this country. I told her that since ICT was at the forefront here in Rwanda , I had to participate in this noble cause. It appears that this news was so sweet for her eyes. She believed every word I wrote to her. As for me, I was just innocently telling her some few white lies in the name of promoting myself. What I did not know was that she was seriously considering a visit to Rwanda. So one day, she sent me the following message via Yahoo Messenger “Diaspoman, I just want to let you know that I am boarding the 9 o’clock Jaguar bus from Kampala. Will you please pick me up at the bus park? I will be dressed in a red dress.” Okay, now things were becoming quite elephant for me. What was I going to do? Hadn’t I told her that I was a Managing Director of a big company here in Rwanda ? Where would I borrow a car from?Anyways, I somehow managed to find a solution. So, off I drove to Nyabugogo the next day. I was dressed to kill. I waited for the Jaguar to arrive. It was around 5pm in the evening. Eventually, the purple Jaguar bus pulled up at the busy Nyabugogo bus park. As passengers started to disembark, I kept my eye wide open. I was looking for any nice looking chick dressed in Red to emerge out of the bus. They continued to disembark until my eyes landed on this most beautiful lady I had ever seen. Yes indeed, she was clad in a very exotic red dress. She was so elegant. Upon seeing her, I rushed like a mad man and gave her a very heavy hug! As I started to lift her in ecstasy, I felt a serious blow crush into my abdomen. When I painfully looked up, it was a huge burly guy who had given me a Tyson-like box. He was screaming at the top of his voice “How dare hug my wife like that? Do you want to steal her mobile phone? You lousy Nyabugogo thieves!” Oops! Apparently, I had picked on the wrong person. So then where on earth was my lady? What had happened to her? Hadn’t she told me that she would be dressed in a red dress? Just as I was nursing my bruised abdomen, my phone rang. It was a long distance call. Yes, at last! It was my lady calling from Kampala “Honey, I missed the bus. Can you please send me money for an air ticket?” I felt like cursing her openly. But I kept my cool. So I also told her amidst my pain “Okay darling, please wait for your air ticket at the airport in one year’s time” I then hang up the phone. I decided to be more careful when it comes to chatting via Skype or Yahoo messenger…eeeh eeeh watch out too. diaspoman@yahoo.com