Marriage is not life’s only objective

I am single, have been for a long time and, judging from the last guy that showed up on my doorstep seemingly convinced that his outfit belonged in this decade and that sitting in his car in the supermarket parking lot for two hours with a cooling cup of bad coffee is the best way to woo a girl, I may be single for at least another short while. Now all I have to do is figure out what to do until my prince figures out that I’m the one he wants. I live in a world where getting married is number one on the list of things I feel I must do to be considered a productive member of my society. I align myself with a community and am committed to a belief system that bases itself on the structure of a family, on building a marriage and home based on the foundation of its values. I really want that for myself, badly. But the reality is--I’m single. There are many possible reasons one could suggest for my not being married, but God in His infinite wisdom knows when the time is right for me and it seems that right now is not it. In the meantime, I have a few choices to make. I can either live for the time when I will be married, pushing off ‘real life’ plans in my career and other relationships, and walk around as if I’ve gotten the shortest end of the stick and am just waiting for the good times to come. This is a real picture of misery (Want to hang out?). Or I can make every moment of my life matter, now and always. “Singles,” as we are called, have endless opportunities to do good that “marrieds” simply don’t, and as much as I would like to be married, I often think of the things I will give up once it happens. I love it that my apartment has somehow turned into a hotel over the last few years. A husband may not be as comfortable as I am with 13 young girls crashing on every inch of floor space for five nights, and when I do get married, I may have to tone that down a bit. I won’t be able to take care of friends’ kids while they take a quick vacation together, go on a last minute vacation myself, drive people to airports hours away with no notice to anyone. In my personal growth I can go to classes whenever and wherever I would like. I have time to study a variety of subjects and get to know different families as I learn from them. The list of opportunities is endless. It is easy to say that I could get so much more accomplished “if only...” but the world doesn’t work like that. We have only to look at the gifts and opportunities we have in each situation in order to really feel happy with our lot. While working on filling my time with meaningful and productive activities, I have to keep my goal of marriage in mind. I try to surround myself with people whom I enjoy and love, who can help me through rough times and cheer me up after another bad date. I keep networking, knowing that somehow through degrees of separation someone knows my behest. Ultimately, marriage is not our sole purpose in this world. God gave us marriage as a tool for accomplishing wonderful things in His world and we cannot fulfill our job in this world without it; but it is not the only objective of life. People are amazed that I am constantly entertaining, cooking and hosting guests. I always respond that you do not wake up just knowing these things. I wonder how many of us singles can say that we are working hard now, at this moment, at being the person we want to be at leading the most fulfilling and productive life we can, and not just waiting for marriage to begin living our lives. Ends