It is a conversation that is always expected to get heated and take an explosive turn whenever the words “Men are trash” are mentioned on Rwandan social media, leading to a barrage of exchanges between pro and anti-parties. Two groups quickly form -one supporting the argument and the other offering differing views, arguing that “not all men are trash”, and at the same time asking all sorts of questions about the punchline that first became popular in 2016. The debate is always triggered by something – an incident involving Gender-Based Violence (GBV), rape, sexual harassment or exploitation, or simply just an event that touches on genders, such as 16 days of activism against GBV, International Women’s Day (IWD) and others. This time around, as Rwanda joined the rest of the world to embark on 16 days of activism against GBV, starting on November 25, running up to December 10, yet again the conversation was drawn to the ‘Men are Trash’ debate, prompting yet another social media storm around the controversial tagline. It all started after Thierry B. Murangira, Spokesperson of Rwanda Investigation Bureau (RIB) said that “Men are Trash” and other words used by some groups of people, especially ‘radical’ feminists, are inappropriately borrowed and used in a context that they don’t apply to. Speaking during the national event to kickstart the 16-day campaign which starts on the International Day for the Elimination of Violence against Women, Murangira said that some of the borrowed words and punchlines like ‘Men are Trash’ can be counterproductive and can, in fact, perpetuate GBV if not carefully used. “A good example is ‘Men are Trash’. This is a tagline that has been used in different countries but it has meaning in their own context. To me, picking such strong words and using them here, in a context they don’t apply, is inappropriate and demeans the progress we have made,” “I believe such statements like ‘Men are Trash’ downplay the progress we have made in our efforts to achieve gender equality. This is a slogan that was used in those countries, in their context, and we just pick them up and use them without understanding where they came from,” Murangira said. ALSO READ: https://www.newtimes.co.rw/article/22110/news/rwanda/officials-root-for-positive-parenting-to-tackle-gbv-in-families The RIB Spokesperson also touched on the word ‘feminism’ and how it is applied, pointing out that the idea of feminism has been misconstrued to create a ‘men vs women’ scenario -something he attribute to radicalism which he said undoes the gains registered so far. Murangira’s statements triggered a conversation on social media, with many supporting the RIB publicist, stating that the ‘men are trash’ argument and others that pit women against men are diversionary and counterproductive while others said that such statements from officials show the lack of willingness to tackle violence against women and girls. It is a debate that came on the heels of another conversation on femicide in Rwanda, which also divided opinion, with some saying that there are no killings specifically targeting women because they are women, while others called on authorities to rein in the increasing cases of femicide. Again, it is something that Murangira said cannot be affirmed, because women, like men, get killed in conflicts, misunderstandings, homicides and other incidents that cannot be termed as ‘femicide’ but might involve men. Why context matters For starters, the phrase “Men Are Trash” originated from South Africa, starting in 2016 and became popular in 2017 after women in the country adopted the hashtag to protest gender-based violence targeting women and girls, and at the same time to raise awareness on the growing levels of violence. The phrase mainly became a trending topic in 2017 after the murder of a South African woman Karabo Mokoena by her boyfriend, and in 2019 after the rape and murder of Uyinenne Mrwetyana. It became part of the #MeToo movement. The main purpose of the phrase was to send a message of anger to authorities to act, and a way to make men uncomfortable and give women a platform to share their own experiences of sexism, harassment, and sexual violence. From the get go, the punchline was met with a variety of responses, including opposing hashtags such as #NotAllMenAreTrash and others that accused the proponents of the ‘Men are Trash’ hashtag of generalising, lumping men together in one category to label them trash. By the end of 2019, it had become one of the most talked about taglines and one of the most controversial at the same time, with Rwanda too catching its own fever. READ: https://www.newtimes.co.rw/article/22181/news/crime/gbv-24-decline-in-court-cases-linked-to-awareness-campaign In the heat of it, some men came out to ‘defend manhood’ while others pointed to women's actions as a way of blaming them for what happens to them, complicating the situation even further. It triggered an uncomfortable conversation where women who came out to say that ‘not all men are trash’ were equally attacked and accused of being enablers of GBV or were labelled ‘pick me’ girls for siding with men and boys. Critics argue that the phrase has invalidated the role of men in the fight against GBV and turned them into enemies rather than allies. Dividing the online world The punchline “men are trash” has divided the social media realm into two, where those who support the phrase are always up in arms with those who accuse them of being insulting, indignant and divisive, among other things. Some social media users like Eugene Twizeyimana, argued on social media that using terms like 'Men are trash' indeed undermines gender equality as Murangira argued, emphasizing that feminism is about equal rights for all and fighting gender-based violence—against women and men. “Let’s focus on unity, not harmful generalizations,” Twizeyimana says, while Eliora Baho says that using such phrases can be counterproductive and can only turn would-be allies into non-allies because of how offensive they are. Those who oppose it on the other hand find themselves being labelled sexists, misogynists, rape apologists and ‘pick me’ for women who don’t subscribe to it. The term pick-me is often used to describe someone who seeks external validation, often from men, and may put down fellow women in the process. The term itself is considered problematic and misogynistic, and has led to an anti-pick-me trend on social media. Following the resurgence of the ‘Men are Trash’ conversation on Rwandan social media, a group of girls and women has been emboldened to join the ‘Not all men are trash’ lot, often finding themselves at the receiving end of insults from those who subscribe to the statement. Some female journalists and influencers like Peace Agahozo, Annette Mugabo and others who attempted to argue that ‘men are not trash’ were attacked for siding with perpetrators. READ: https://www.newtimes.co.rw/article/21788/opinions/editorial/16-days-of-activism-it-is-our-collective-duty-to-fight-gbv So divisive, some platforms like Facebook censored posts that carried the tag, designating it as hate speech. However, it picked global acclaim after other countries picked it up to raise awareness to the increasing levels of violence women and girls were facing, with some statistics showing that at least one in three women had been subjected to some form of gender-based sexual violence. In countries like the UK, 50 per cent of women murdered in 2019 (two every week) were killed by a partner or ex-partner compared to 3 per cent of murdered men. In South Africa, where the hashtag started, it was reported that a woman was murdered by a man every four hours, as a result of negative masculinity and patriarchal practices that make women more prone to violence. Proponents of the tagline however argue that the phrase ‘men are trash’, brought much needed attention to the challenge of violence targeting women and girls and opened up a timely debate. The mere fact that some would say “Not all men are trash” means that part of the society acknowledges that indeed some men mete out violence on women and girls. Some argue that it puts the spotlight on the actual problem rather than looking at it as a distraction which derails and trivialises the problem, with people like Gustave Ineza, a PhD student in Canada calling for a better understanding of such statements and what they mean in the Rwandan context, rather than attacking them. From the look of things, it is a debate that won’t end soon.
