The dangers of sex outside marriage

With the growing pandemic of HIV/AIDS over the world, much discussion and deliberation is held on how to prevent its spread. One of the strategies discussed for prevention of HIV is preventing, “sex outside marriage.” It has been realized very well that one of the basic causes for spread of HIV and sexually transmitted diseases is, sex with many partners. This invariably happens outside the institution of marriage. Centuries ago, our ancestors realized the strength of sex instinct and the need to channel it for a healthy life. Institution of marriage was created for this very purpose world over in all communities. Relations outside marriage were looked down upon. This was done to discipline people so that they do not venture outside marriage. With rapid industrialization and development in the western world all the old values also started changing and one of them was loss of respect for institution of marriage. In the post war era, theory of Sigmund Freud became very popular and was adopted by many in the developed countries. This theory stated that all mental tensions, frustrations and anxieties are due to suppression of the sexual instincts. Well, many people set forth to get their tensions relieved. Marriage no longer seemed necessary to have sex. This sort of behaviour was fast adopted by persons from developing countries as well. Now whether the mental problems were solved or not, but this sort of attitude definitely has created many other problems in the society which are getting more and more difficult to solve. Broken marriages, adolescent and teenage single mothers, delinquent juveniles all social problems are apparent for all who care to see and realize that this is the outcome of free sex. As for the issue of physical health, rising number of sexually transmitted diseases and HIV/AIDS is the direct outcome of free sex. If a person cheats his or her spouse outside marriage, trust which is the very basis of a good marriage is lost. “Trust”, is an all or none issue in marriage. Once lost, it can never be regained. This creates rift and disputes among the couple. If one has enough tolerance or if keeping the relation is unavoidable, it continues and the partner tolerating it continues to suffer. Otherwise the marriage ends in divorce. In both cases it is the children who suffer most. They may become introverts or delinquents in the form of rowdies or bullies at school, drug addicts and or promiscuous sexually. They invariably loose interest in studies. Man or woman who so ever has sex with many partners remains at risk of acquiring and transmitting various diseases and also HIV. Premarital sex is yet another worrying aspect of this issue. Boys and girls who have barely entered into teens are indulging in sex. Cases have come to light where a girl becomes pregnant even before getting her first period and the father in question may be a boy of barely 13 or 14 years. In most of these school affairs, boys simply walk off. Moreover they are not even in a position to shoulder the responsibility of a family. It is the girls who suffer most as the result of such affairs in more than one way. They loose their self respect and dignity. Either they get themselves aborted with its consequent health hazards or are burdened with a child whom they cannot give anything worthwhile. Parenting and bringing up children as productive, creative citizens is a task involving much resources and maturity. This cannot be accomplished by these school level lovers. These adolescents carry greater risk of acquiring and transmitting diseases because of ignorance. They get carried away by lust without realizing the consequences. When they grow up they can suffer from chronic infections and sterility, due to these infections. Moreover due to indulgence in sex early, by the time they grow up, they loose interest in it. Result is impotence and frigidity when they get married, creating many other problems. Another matter is of grown up people not married but having an affair. This is also not a very pleasant situation. A person particularly with some standing in society is always trying to hide such a relationship from public eyes, because it is clandestine. Such relationships are rarely long lasting. The two people indulging in such a relationship do not trust one another. Whether it is a man or woman, they are always suspicious of one another. Once the attraction is over, one invariably gets bored of the other person, thus ending the relation. They then start a new relation with another person afresh. This happens because there is nothing to bond them together as in marriage. These are the persons who acquire and transmit HIV and other diseases during such relations. Other result is quarrels, misunderstanding, separation and divorce in marriage. In all these kinds of relations, involved people always carry a sense of guilt or shame, especially when they become sick. This leads to depression. Thus it can be seen that sex outside marriage is not desirable and has unpleasant results for the individual and the associated persons. It is harmful for both physical and mental health of the person. When one remains a celibate in the growing years and waits for marriage to indulge in sex, he or she enjoys it most without any inhibition or fear of any kind. In a summary it can be said that sex should be considered only in a state of marriage. Marriage is a norm established by our forefathers for a disciplined, healthy individual and needs to be respected even today. World is already witnessing much chaos and disease all around solely due to disregard of this norm. E-mail – rachna212002@yahoo.co.uk