Focus: On whether denying a partner sex is worthy punishment

Recently, married Kenyan women inspired by their colleagues in higher office were urged not to share a bed with their husbands for a week. This was intended to punish husbands for, among other reasons, being adulterous. This move which has already been implemented also affects Kenyan ministers and members of parliament. The SundayMag went around Kigali gathering some views on the essence of the measure. And this is what they had to say: “How can she not share a bed with me when we are married? It could be possible if we don’t share the same house but she won’t give me a reason good enough especially if she didn’t catch me red handed cheating,” Alfonse Kabanda, a security guard. Maria Uwera, a housewife, has no kind words for cheating husbands, “If he cheats, a week is a small punishment. Women can live without sex for a week but men won’t. So it’s a good punishment.” “It’s a good thing for the men who think they can’t respect their marriage vows,” Gloria Ingabire, university student. “I heard about it on radio, but I have failed to comprehend it. This is a woman I paid the pride price for and she denies me sex for a week! I advise the Kenyan men to take collective action against this evil,” Baptist Mulinda, a mechanic. God fearing Jean Marie Rudasingwa says that whether men or women, they can live without sex for a longer time. He adds that marriage should be respected and based on the teachings of the bible and that any misunderstanding should be amicably solved between the couple. “I am not married but I do sympathise with the Kenyan men who will be (or were) victimized since all men don’t cheat and the advocates are urging every woman to say no. Otherwise when you are married, I don’t think it’s possible to go a week without sleeping together,” Jonathan Ndayisaba, a barber. “Which man will accept to go a week without sex? Remember, in most cases you are in his house. Sometimes he can physically threaten you and in the end you give in,” Dorothy Mbabazi, a shop keeper. “I don’t think that would be a solution. You deny him sex and he gets it from somewhere else. I think that would aggravate the problem. The solution is to trust one another,” Jackie Murekatete. Maybe a survey will be carried out in Kenya to find out the effectiveness of the ‘no-sex-for-a-week’ method. Ends