If there is anything that can grab your joy at work and limit you to excel, it’s self-pity. Collins dictionary defines self-pity as a feeling of unhappiness that you have about yourself and your problems, especially when this is unnecessary or greatly exaggerated. You have probably seen people who throw pity parties for failure of taking in negative feedback, messing up projects, causing losses to an organisation, not being able to achieve their career goals, and so forth. Forbes notes that mentally strong people refuse to allow self-pity to sabotage their success. Instead, they use life’s inevitable hardships as a way to grow stronger and become better. For instance; they don’t distract themselves from uncomfortable emotions by questioning whether their problems are fair, or by convincing themselves they have suffered more than those around them. They know the best way to deal with discomfort is to just get through it. Justin Mwiza, a business manager states that relying on self-pity just steals energy and morale that could have been used to better oneself and perform better next time. She says that some people don’t know how to handle discouragements, delay or hostility, a thing that hinders them to make the best out of every situation, that others have given up on jobs and opportunities for not believing in themselves. She explains that most bosses will give more tasks to workers who show an interest and ability to learn. “As you spend time focusing on self-pity, most of your workmates will excel more than you. This is because when they receive criticism, they take it in good faith and find means to perform better.” Mwiza stresses that some employees don’t go an extra mile to try out new opportunities, because they think after all, the results will be negative, and thus giving up. She also notes that workers with self-pity are self-centered, everything rotates around them but if they focus more on helping others, the workplace would be a happy place. “For instance, instead of being bitter about what you don’t know, you can help your colleagues with some skills you’re good at. In the end, this will offer you joy knowing that you have shared your knowledge with others. It will also create a sense of belonging at work.” The business manager carries on that curbing self-pity starts with averting negativity and avoiding complaints. According to her, most people always find something negative about their workplace and at the end of the day, this ruins their creativity and participation at work. To them, work seems like a prison, which isn’t healthy. She also explains that accept that you aren’t perfect as some people demean themselves for failing to complete their tasks in time, or not getting job offers they applied for. But whatever the case, they should be reminded that this doesn’t make them less important, she notes. Mwiza states that avoid situations, environments, and people that make you question your abilities and self-worth because they will stop you from believing in yourself, a thing that can affect the way you operate at work. Psych Central, an independent mental health information and news website, notes that chronic feelings of self-pity may not always stem from an overwhelming amount of stress. Sometimes, what you’re feeling presents as self-pity, but is really a need for validation. “A need for validation can mean for good or bad that you feel you deserve the outcome of events. When something negative happens, you can feel as though it’s because you did something to warrant the unpleasant result.”
