Visitors are fun to have around, mostly if it was planned and agreed on by all parties involved. People seldom like impromptu visits. The idea of having to ‘entertain’ someone at a time you’d rather be doing anything else can be annoying. Some take it a notch higher and even come to spend a night or so, without considering if the host is financially comfortable to take on an extra mouth to feed. Or you may just have a lot on your plate and are not in the mood to host them. Elizabeth Kaitesi, a lawyer, explains that it’s advisable to study someone’s mood and tone before you even tell them about your visit. She believes it’s just basic courtesy to know one’s schedule; if they are busy, don’t even bother letting them know about the visit. Alternatively, inform them that you will be willing to pay them a visit whenever they’re available. They will appreciate the gesture, and even put you in their future plans. Kaitesi says that it’s rude to just show up at someone’s house, without prior notice. But if you’re let in, be clear about how long you intend to stay for planning purposes. For hosts, she says, be clear that you weren’t comfortable or okay with someone coming without communicating, and that you would appreciate that next time they call first, because if you don’t discuss that, they will do it again. She also notes that even when the stay seems a lot more fun and comfortable than you’d imagined, as a guest, don’t overstay your welcome as it advisable to leave a place before people get tired of having you around. “In case the hosts are busy with numerous tasks, there is no harm in assisting where necessary, you can help with the cooking, cleaning and other house tasks in goodwill,” she says. According to Aimé Kalisa, a businessman in Kigali, even if you didn’t expect them, visitors should be welcomed and offered something to drink or eat. Once they’re settled down, bother to know why they visited, sometimes they’re just checking in on you and the family, or encountering problems that need solutions. Whatever the case, be helpful, you never know when you will need their help as well, he says. If they are planning to spend a night, keep them entertained and organise where they will sleep, that’s if it’s not yet prepared, and make them feel at home. Kalisa explains that there is no need to feel embarrassed in case your house is found in a mess, apologise to the guest that the house isn’t in the best state as you weren’t expecting anyone. If you’re busy, he says, let your guest know your plan so that they decide whether to stay or leave, but if the plan is not so serious, you cancel and attend to the visitor, especially if they are not spending a night.
