Impressions: Gov’t money should not go that easy

Well you all know that story I wrote on tithing and offertory being SMS-ed? I have had a lot of responses and it’s true, the idea can work. So from now on, I have put a copyright on the concept, any Pastor who intends to use it, a certain percentage of the total collection will go to me, period. Hold it though, not everyone buys the concept. There is this buddy who strongly contested the idea of SMS-ing tithe and offertory, arguing that for example back in our village church (We happen to come from the same village unfortunately), the idea will be off no use since a phone continues to be a luxury for the filthy rich. So in this village, money is for anything but not tithe or offertory. Come Sunday, the church becomes a mini market, some carry big bunches of matooke, beans, mangos, live chicken, Jerrycans of milk…name it. Whoever said offertory or tithe could be substituted by other items as long as they have value! At the end of the service, one old man with auctioning experience, takes to the altar and auctions, one by one, the items until they are all gone. Knowing how money is very scarce, opportunistic boys carry a few bucks on them to buy the goodies at very low prices and at the end of the service they walk away smiling with bicycle loads. So this way, an SMS cannot work especially when offertory is in form of pumpkins, sugar canes and maize cobs, no. Meanwhile if you noticed the heading, weird things never cease to happen. Parliamentarians in Poland are debating a serious issue which is likely to have the Tourism and Wildlife Minister fired. The cause is about a Male African Elephant the country bought to add to the country’s zoo so that it could procreate with females for more elephants. However, the beast decided to go gay, avoiding all females and instead preferring the company of other males. The legislators argue that the male import has no eye for the females however much they try to come close or seduce it. It instead prefers hanging out with the boys, without considering the close to USD 1m the country invested so that it could be fished out of the African jungles to one of the posh Polish towns. This damn animal is less concerned, it’s not even aware of the sacrifice the country made especially during this financial crisis. All it wants is staying around the boys….Phew. The MP’s say the Minister should resign because he failed to notice the behaviour of the Elephant before he could cost the country dearly. “We cannot go on spending tax payer’s money on gay elephants, that’s gross wastage of resources, at least the Minister could have noticed that the young elephant has a thing for fellow males.” One of the Legislators argued. Talk about being a patriotic politician. kagire_eddie@yahoo.com