February. The month of love. And what better way to celebrate it than choosing to love or be loved. Regarded as one of the most important human emotions, love is also said to be one of the most profound experiences a person can ever have. Different people define it differently, but with romantic relationships in particular, love can come with all shades of happiness, excitement and satisfaction. But true love is a durable fire, in the mind ever burning, never sick, never old, never dead, from itself never turning-writes poet, Sir Walter Ralegh. With these relationships, however sweet and gratifying, there are basics that matter for them to work. It takes effort to make love happen and keep it going, says Lorraine Akacu, who is currently engaged. When she first started dating her fiancé, things between them were exciting until they fell into a routine that almost broke them up. Love is capable of blossoming and lasting long term if you are both committed to working on it. Know the things that make your partner happy and do that, she says. “Making your partner happy boils down to the simple basics. Never take each other, and the time spent together for granted. Be caring and understanding towards their needs, give them attention and space as much as they need it,” she says. Kevin Mucyo says making your partner happy is important in a relationship, and that achieving this shouldn’t be rocket science. “What matters is to understand your partner, what they like and don’t like. Go out on dates, spend quality time with each other and love them sincerely. I would say this is one of the elements that can keep you and your partner happy, as well as help you build a stronger and enduring relationship.” Simply show up Akacu believes that there are so many resources and information on how to make your significant other happy, yet with the wrong person, none of it can matter anyway. She therefore recommends setting sight on the right values and choice for a partner. “When you meet the right person, it’s easy for the relationship to flow. You don’t need to do so much for it to work.” Teresa Adair, the author of ‘The meaning of love: Keeping it simple by simply showing up’ shares that it seems that at each stage in her life, love’s meaning changes. Today, for me, love is relationships. It is the building and nurturing of the relationships I have with the people in my life. What does love look like, though? For me, it is simple: I show up. I show up ready to listen, work, give, read a chapter of a book, or play a game. I don’t always have the right words or the perfect card and I may have forgotten the exact date, but I still show up, imperfections and all, she writes. “So often the shame of not doing something exactly right, or saying something the perfect way, keeps us from doing anything at all, and robs us of that precious moment where we could have shown love to another. Waiting a moment to show love soon turns into waiting a day, the day turns into a week, the weeks, to months, and the months, to years. All of this time, wasted on waiting for the perfect moment to show love, can turn into regret.” Show up ready to listen, ask questions, and find out what is really going on in your loved one’s life. Simply show up. The simplest and smallest of gestures can show love in powerful ways.
