Like a person who gets pickpocketed and is then chided for his decision to carry his wallet in his back pocket, so is a victim who suffers violence and gets blamed for it. With victims of sexual violence for example, it’s not unusual for society to blame them for dressing a certain way or being in the wrong place and at the wrong time, citing this as the cause of the violence. Rather than shame and hold perpetrators accountable for their crimes, the blame sometimes falls on the victims themselves. What this does is that victims get confused in the context of understanding what’s really happening to them, says Amisa Ramadhani, a law student and feminist. They might even place the blame on themselves, thinking that they deserve what they got. Such stereotypes are a result of some people’s mind-sets, the cultural or religious beliefs, where women are taught to be submissive or preserve the reputation of their homes and families, she says. “You shouldn’t bring shame to your family! Or, don’t break up your marriage: when a person tells you that, how do you think someone who wants to report will appear? She will appear like one who has brought shame to their homes and marriages. That’s where the stigma comes in, even when you decide to go ahead and report, you go with fear of turning into an outcast,” Ramadhani says. GBV itself affects the health and the wellbeing of women in general. With stigma, the effects double whereby victims are physically and psychologically affected. “This can even cause depression; someone can even commit suicide because they remain silent due to fear of speaking up. You think of how the people around you are going to mock and judge you, so you keep it to yourself. Other victims, who might be undergoing the same, can choose to remain silent when they see the torment and mockery that those who choose to speak up go through.” Counsellor Damien Mouzoun says such kinds of acts affect mainly individual’s collective identity, social relationships and status; that is why you will never be surprised seeing this kind of stigma more often. He says this mainly starts in the culture and how people were raised. Some of the taboos of the past, like the stories of ancient Rwanda culture where girls got harsh punishments after breaking their virginity, all of these have an impact on mind-set. “Let us look to this modern day, GBV cases are not reported much as other types of crimes. And this leads to lack of accountability which in turn causes gender based violence,” the counsellor observes. Another thing is the way it makes headlines when someone is a victim. Some will be shown publicly and an unfortunate thing that will happen is that, in some cases the victims will be gas lighted. Some families want to keep it a secret to protect their overall reputation, like the fear that may be their daughter will not get a husband or that a family will be accused of not raising their child very well. Some are threatened that they will lose their jobs, or that their whole career will be destroyed and so on. Mouzoun says these are some of the reasons some GBV cases go unreported. Without justice or a chance to fight for fairness, victims get to be taunted with pain resulting from psychological, social and physical agony. “Of course the victims are going to be affected mentally; some will feel an unjust guilt in their whole life. In cases of rape, the invisible victim (like a child that will be born as a result of the crime) will be affected too, this will keep on haunting them after realising that some of the criminals were not held accountable.” What needs to be done? Ramadhani recognises the work that has been done by the government, institutions like Gender Monitoring Office, Ministry of Gender and Family Promotion, “all of these keep on fighting GBV in all of its forms, but this needs to be supplemented so that more people have a change in mind-set since this is what brings the challenges mostly.” It is important to note that people around us play a big role in this because the way they understand things will have an effect on the victims. Sensitisation should start with young people such that the mind-set is tackled at a very young age. This can be done either in schools or families, Ramadhani says. “Another thing is the promotion of public debates about GBV and equality. These should be done in villages and in schools such that people gain knowledge about that. There should also be training of different people especially in rural areas so that they know that GBV is a crime and it is punishable by law.” Mouzoun shares that victims need to be sent for counselling services, and that sex education needs to be taught openly to children in their puberty age. “If you don’t teach them, they will have other sources anyway. I mean negative ones. Religious leaders also need to understand and have awareness about this issue, it doesn’t need to be stigmatised. They need to teach their congregation that GBV crimes should be eradicated completely without shame and burry all of those norms too. I appreciate the justice in Rwanda in the fight against this crime. Other countries should learn from her too.”
