There is a proverb that says: ‘birds of the same feathers flock together.’ People tend to associate with those who share similar interests or values. The same goes for when we make friends or accomplices in the various activities we engage in. The weight of this varies I guess. Some people may agree (while others may not) with the idea that the people they spend time with, friends in this case, reflect their character or even personality. Jesse R. Shyaka a university graduate seems to agree with this. He says, normally it’s the common interests that people have that draw them together in the first place. “I remember how you would go to a new school and for example, if you are passionate about debate, you would hang out with the debaters. If you like dancing, you will somehow find yourself hanging out with dancers and in most cases end up being friends with them,” he says. He goes on to note that for one to be friends with another there has to be a connection. “I think it has to be natural, you find yourself connected to a person you have not even known for a long time. This natural feeling comes with forces of attraction,” he says. Rehema Ingabire, a designer personally believes the friends reflect who we are, and that the right friends lead us in the right directions. She says when looking out for friendship, it’s important to look out for each other’s weaknesses and strengths and see how you both can complement each other. “Some people have lost the sense and meaning of friendship, which is not healthy but rather toxic. Friends are very important people in our lives. Sometimes when the family is not there for us, friends become the family that we chose, but that only works when you have the right friends,” she adds. Josephine Muhorakeye, a mother-of-two says that when it comes to friendships, sometimes parents are very protective because they understand how much of an impact they can have on their children’s lives. It only makes sense for a parent to be overprotective. And that is why as a mother, I would want to know my children’s friends. I feel safe when I know who they are hanging out with- whether they are well-mannered friends and maybe, if I get to know their parents, the better, she says. “In most cases, friendships come with bad influence. That’s why I mind who goes out with my child, it is important. Parents should monitor their children’s behavioural changes before it is too late,” she warns. Sarah Uwitonze however thinks we are what we do when no one is watching. She therefore believes it’s always a person’s choice to be who they are, and that as long as one exercises self-control, they can’t be influenced, especially negatively. “It is not all about the negative influence, for me it is more of having limits. I will not end my friendship with you because you drink or smoke, no. I have my limits; I know what is right and what is wrong after all.”
