Sexual violence still arresting rural women potential

Western Province KIBUYE—The look on her face will portray all the tasks and hassles she goes through from morning till sunset. As she tirelessly runs from the garden to the kitchen, her days are busier than most can know.“I go to the garden at 5:30 after which I look for feeds for my cattle,” Lucy Murungi says. “And then do other home chores until late in the night.”In African society, that seems fine and is what a village woman is meant for, but how about the other hindrances to development and reaching her personal dreams?Is there room in Rwanda for women’s personal dreams?“Celebrating the village woman’s day is meant to look for a way forward to addressing her problems even when we assume she has gender equality,” says Martha Ngaite, counsellor from Arusha, Tanzania. She is on a tour of Western Province, meeting with village women groups in celebrating Village Women’s Day.With rags covering them, many women put forward their family issues, but sexual violence—and more so, sexual oppression; the oppression of opportunity through violence—outweighs all of them.“Vision 2020 advises us to bear few kids,” Kezia Kariza says. “But we can’t make it because our husbands don’t respect our sexual needs.”In most villages, women have no sexual rights. It all depends on the husband whether to ‘do it’ or not. In drinking joints it is a common slogan to hear a man say, “she has to work and produce because she cost me a cow.” Or, “I don’t allow my wife to leave work for a second not until I rediscover the Frw300,000 I paid for her.” When it comes to sex, even when a village woman has a tangible excuse, the husbands are never ready to listen. Women are sexually abused by their husbands. Issues like “I am tired” or sick don’t count. Not even a nine-month pregnancy can save a woman from sex.Kezia had a miscarriage because, though her doctor advised her form having sex after seven months pregnant, the husband refused to stop.As if this is not enough, young girls turn into women in a blink of an eye. With this cultural belief it is not uncommon for a man to believe that a wife’s younger sister could stand in her place when she is absent. A number of girls have been prematurely involved in sexual intercourse yet they are shy to talk about it. Such fragile girls instead of being in school are in villages looking after their children. In one case, a village girl was raped but is too ashamed to publicly bring the case to the authorities. Men, she says, think that they are “in a class above women” and refuse to listen to her confessions.“I was raped but when I told my father, he punished me saying I had negotiated with the rapist,” says Claudia Umutoni. Claudia can only dream of going to school because she is 4 months pregnant.Ngait calls for women to talk freely about sexual harassment.“If your husband rapes you, go ahead and report it because you have that right,” she says. “Tell them about the pride any girl earns her family when she marries while still a virgin,” she adds. Ends