Relationships: When love was love

If a picture speaks a thousand words then a love letter speaks a million more. A quick revisit to old times’ romance during a girl’s night out left me feeling short changed by today’s view and definition of romance. Gone are the days when love was just that - love. Times when someone said they loved you and meant just that. Gone are the days when a telegraph would turn your life upside down because you know someone went to all that extent just for you. Days when perfumed letters found a desperate you at the Post Office gates praying for one with your name on it. These are days that men did not have to pretend. Vulnerability seemed not a concern for those love had found. Back then lovers poured their hearts out to the people they were in love with. They did not need a psychiatrist in the room to tell their loved ones what saddened them or made them happy. They just said it. All this was done by creativity and styled up love letters, poems and public display of emotions. Then if you were dating someone you were not the only one who seemed to think so. Now, in 2009, a girl could be considered lucky if her boyfriend sent her a text, “Babes I lov u.” A generic message that one can expect whether it is on a birthday or Valentines day. Over time romance has since transformed. In a bid to better our communication systems we have developed text messages, emails and recently FaceBook and a whole host of the like. Now termination of a relationship is boldly displayed on a face FaceBook. Sending messages to each other to express our feelings or lack of them is the coolest way to communicate. This, if you ask me, has created a loss of passion and emotion. People are no longer discussing or expressing themselves through face-to-face communication. Instead, they are writing short texts to say I love you in languages that one can hardly understand. Where is the romance? Has technology led us to what is now the death of romance? Maybe it’s just me but it just seems like writing love letters and poems do not have the same effect as they used to have a long time ago. Sms templates have replaced creativity. A cool gift has since replaced a lover’s chat. It seems like we live in a time where material things over shine a heart felt love letter. I can imagine a guy’s face if today you decided to write him a love note. It seems it is now immature to even expect him to write on a card. Perhaps we are a society confined in what seems to be the evolution of love. Maybe we have lost touch with the importance of self-expression in the middle to communication technology discovery. Maybe we have lost our belief in love. Because, after all, the normal life cycle of a relationship seems to be closing up. Divorce seems the easiest way out from a struggling relationship. However, I remain hopeful that if we have romantics such as me glued to a history of romance that we truly believe in then we will all find a way of reviving what we have lost. And maybe, just maybe, people will cherish love as they once did. Email pgathoni@gmail.com