Marriage: When bliss turns into bothersome

You have counted a few successful marriages, and this has prompted you to rush into one. Forget those tales of our fore parents that marriage is an assured lifetime institution, where the married are only separated by death. Today, we are seeing a different story. Genuine married couples will testify that marriages today have turned disaster. Quarrelling and battering is the order of the day. A husband kills his wife and a mother kills her own children, and vice verse. The deadly change in marriage has thus attracted the attention of the old married couples, pitying what happened to the so called “Romantic institution”. I have had conversations from time to time with people who tell me that marriage is not all roses. It has turned into the most boring institution. This made me reflect on a story I was told by a friend. Sometime back, I engaged into an educative conversation about marriage with a certain friend of mine, who divorced his wife three months ago. Honestly, sometimes it beats my understanding to see people walking down the aisle, but only to file for divorce in the next few months. “He was kind and sensitive and honest and good. He loved his wife and always treated her with respect. But guess what? It wasn’t his shoe, and definitely their marriage never lasted longer”. This is the common saying whenever thing go sour.Nevertheless, some marriages have managed to succeed. A couple bellow shares their experience of over 30 years in marriage. Born in 1930, in the Northern Province (former Ruhengeri), Antoine Kalisa is a husband to Marie Uwamahoro, who was born in 1937 in the Northern Province (former Byumba). Since the couple got married, way back in 1954, they have lived a successful marriage, which anyone would envy. During the persecutions against Tutsis in 1960s, the pair was forced into exile (in Uganda). They were only five years old in the marriage. While there, the couple is said to have settled in Masindi (Eastern part of Uganda). And upon their return, in 1995, they settled in the Eastern Province (former Umutara). Successful story Our marriage was God given—says Kalisa. It was not based on material things, but true love. Since we got married, we have been living a happy life, and we have never attempted to divorce or even separate. This is because we believe in the Africa traditional culture which says that marriage is a lifetime institution where couples are only separated by death. We owe each other an endless love, and this has made our marriage successful. We both care for the family and we have groomed our children in a proper manner. I really love my wife whole heartedly. Every time I look at her I find her younger, despite her age. She is the one I chose among many, and I have to love her until I die— Kalisa. Cherishing her husband, Uwamahoro says Kalisa is a God given husband. He is so caring and a great father. His love is unconditional, and undying. The love he showed me when we had just dated has never changed. No wonder even our children (all married) and grandchildren have love. They too have managed to live in successful marriages—couple says. Advice The couple argues the married and those who desperately wish to join the institution, to bare in mind that marriage is not a bed of roses, and that no marriage is made in Heaven. It’s so unfortunate that most young people rush into marriage without considering its burdens, and tasks. People should know that patience, true love, and honesty mean a lot in marriage. These are the secrets of a happy and lasting marriage. lindaonly2005@yahoo.com

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Marriage: When bliss turns into bothersome