We live in a world where people do not identify as male or female, an era where sex changes are possible, yet it still irks society that a woman can ask a guy out. Men are supposed to make the first move, it is said. But does that not put women at a disadvantage, given that it is ‘not acceptable’ or ‘frowned upon’ for them to make a move, and instead have to wait for who comes their way? Questia Irakoze says her pride won’t let her approach a guy she likes. “Secondly, I am not familiar with it, I think my mind is set to the norm (which is a guy approaching me first). I feel like it’s not my place to do so.” Irakoze says that this could be because she hasn’t found a guy she likes that much, to the point of thinking about making the first step. “I also feel like if you approach a guy first, he will start misbehaving, thinking he is special because you approached him, hence, making it easy for him to play you. I feel like he won’t respect you as much as he would have had he been the one who made the first step,” Irakoze says. “Whoever is interested should take the first step. However, women are used to being ‘chased’, so pride will hold them back from doing so (understandably), and there’s also fear of rejection,” says Arlette Uwase, a graphic designer. She says that rejection is feared by many, even men. Women are taught to behave a certain way, especially when it comes to men, be it in the way they dress, talk, and even laugh. Axel Murangira says that if a woman is exceptionally confident, knows her worth, ignores what other people think, and handles rejection with grace, then why not make the first move? “If you’ve thought it through, and are ready for whatever happens, go on and tell him that you like him. Get it off your chest and hope for the best. I am all for not complicating life, if you want him, go for him. It has nothing to do with gender roles,” she says. She adds that it shouldn’t come off as desperate. “Just start the conversation and if the chemistry is there, everything else will flow. If not, you’ve made a new friend. Life is simple. We just complicate it for no reason.”
