There was a time when it was a total abomination to live as couple before getting married. In this age, some cultures and societies are still not entirely open to the idea. However, cohabitation between two individuals before marriage has ceased to be what many termed a ‘Western world custom’, and is now a normal part of a relationship in many societies around the world. “These days marriage has become a business, for example, giving dowry and gifts, as opposed to marriage being an intimate union of two people,” says Dickson Ganza. It has become dramatic, Ganza says, and is not as sacred as it should be. That’s why so many have turned to cohabiting to avoid it all. Ganza believes marriage isn’t about the ceremony, but that act of two individuals being united as one. Living together before tying the knot shouldn’t be considered blasphemous, he says, adding that many religions have standards regarding matrimony, yet people seek other ways to establish their relationships. “As a believer, I do not agree with such ways, what makes you think that your partner won’t desert you the minute things get tough? There is no solid proof that you had any form of relationship at all,” says Stella Gacukuzi. Gacukuzi adds that marriage is more than just two people being united, it comes with a sense of security and stability, not just for the couple, but also for their offspring. “No child would want to be born out of wedlock,” she says. Dalex Munezero says that although most weddings have become ‘a stage to showoff’, he believes that a wedding is a union of families and cultures, and it shouldn’t be taken lightly. He thinks that cohabitating should come with a sense of commitment for the two people in the relationship. Munezero also believes that the youth still have a lot to learn, and understanding is needed if this is to become a norm. Joyce Ishimwe says she can never agree to such behaviour. “I believe that there are disciplines and regulations established generations before us to preserve our dignity in such situations and they should be upheld,” she says. Ishimwe adds that we don’t act and live for just ourselves, we are accountable to someone else in one way or another, to our families and country. In this world, her reputation and image count for something, and a relationship that jeopardises that isn’t worth it at all.
