Religion has been part of the world since the beginning of time, and some of the beliefs and mindsets of people around the world have been birthed from the subject of religion. One of the most common mindsets is the fact that people from different religious backgrounds have more difficulty making their relationship work than individuals from the same religion. Religion has become a strong factor in the way the world functions, and influences relationships across the world. “Our faith brings us together and leads us towards the same direction. Two people with different beliefs will tend to go in opposite directions because they hold and follow different visions, and that can be enough to destroy any relationship,” says Rene Patrick, a local gospel artiste. Beliefs have a fundamental impact on what we chose to do and who we chose to be. Rene notes that faith has a way it shapes our problem-solving skills, and so individuals with different beliefs in a relationship will approach a problem differently, and that can cause tension between them. There is need for a strong foundation for two people to grow together on a new basis, an understanding of what brings them together and what can tear them apart. Belief has an impact on one’s character, moral compass and principles. “Blame games are birthed from two people who do not take responsibility for their actions, and so I believe that it’s better if the people involved follow the same path and faith, for it produces a great line of communication,” Rene says. In ancient times, many conflicts sprang from clashes between different religions. “To avoid conflict, one has to convert to the other’s religion. In Islam, a man can marry a person from another religion but a woman cannot, these principles have shaped our history and culture to this point, and so for the sake of stability and security in any relationship, they should be followed,” says Suleiman Mbarushimana, advisor to the Mufti of Rwanda. Mbarushimana notes that it takes a great deal of understanding and patience for two individuals to grow above a certain mentality, and to take on another’s. A relationship leads you to adopt your partner’s lifestyle, principles and vision, and so knowledge is needed to navigate through such a relationship. “Religious differences in a relationship lead to a change in behaviour, it can be in a positive way but it can also be negative,” says Mbarushimana. Emma Karegyesa, a pastor at Saint Peter’s Parish, says, “People often ask me if it is okay for Christians from different ‘branches’ to get married? My response has always been, are they getting married in the name of their branch or in reverence to Christ? If one feels strongly about their faith, it’s better not to get involved with someone of a different belief, for example, if one is a believer and the other a non-believer.” The individuals in person have to agree on essentials first and compromise on the non-essentials. However, you don’t want your relationship to become a religious courtroom. Karegyesa says that the common mistake interreligious couples make is to assume that their love will conquer all things. This might be so but temporarily. His point is that the couple has to agree on their differences, way before their union. Problems begin to surface once the relationship outgrows the love, and real decisions have to be made in accordance with belief.
