WOMAN 2 WOMAN: Tips for helping traumatised children

According to Dr. Jo Rick, a leading researcher on trauma, it is very difficult to say what particular situations are traumatic, because we know that most people will recover spontaneously but that in some cases symptoms will persist. However, being a victim of crime or violence, being involved in a disaster of some kind, witnessing a horrific incident (for example, someone being killed) and being abused are all examples of situations that can lead to a traumatic reaction. Such situations can be devastating for the individual(s) concerned and for the people connected with them. Symptoms of trauma include: intrusive distressing recollections of the traumatic event, nightmares, intense distress when confronted with reminders, stress, anxiety, panic and efforts to avoid anything associated with the event. As we commemorate the 1994 Genocide against the Tutsi during this month, there is no doubt a good number of people in our society are experiencing trauma. Such people include children who are in most cases ignored because people tend to wrongly believe they are too young to understand what is happening. What people forget is that with unregulated exposure to the electronic media, specifically television programmes, most children are exposed to trauma. Besides now that the children are in holidays, it is extremely difficult to keep them away from watching the television. Remember during this commemoration week, the 1994 genocide events are most of the time replayed on television. Children are just as affected as adults are by a disaster or traumatic event. Some may be affected even more, but few may realise it. Following exposure to something that scares them, children are likely to show signs of stress. Signs include sadness and anxiety, outbursts and tantrums, stomach-aches and headaches. These reactions are normal and usually do not last long. Without intending to, as a parent, you might want to send your children a message that it is not alright to talk about the experience. This may cause confusion, self-doubt, and feelings of helplessness for a child. Children need to hear that it is normal to feel frightened, for instance when they see pictures of the genocide on Television. When you acknowledge and normalise these feelings for your children, it will help them make peace with their experience and move on. The following basic tips can help when dealing with trauma;If a child is traumatised, just like for adults, make an extra effort to provide comfort and reassurance. Avoid unnecessary separations. Allow the child to sleep in the parents’ room temporarily. It is also good to encourage expression of feelings and emotions because this will help them cope with and relieve stress. It is important to remember that you do not have to “fix” how your child feels. Instead, focus on helping your child understand and deal with his or her experiences. Healing is an evolving state for most children, but some may need professional help. If signs of stress do not subside after a few weeks, or if they get worse, consider consulting a mental health professional who has special training in working with children. In time and with help, your children will learn that life does go on. ubernie@gmail.com