Men and women can definitely build friendships with the opposite gender. When you are in a romantic relationship however, this fact can vary for different people, depending on your beliefs and the type of person you are dating. Some argue that allowing your partner to be close friends with someone of the opposite sex can be a good sign of a solid relationship, while for others, allowing this type of friendship is inviting trouble. For Leah Munezero, her boyfriend having a best friend of the opposite gender is no big deal though she says, it would require being cautious and wise. For some, it is uncomfortable to know that your partner has a best friend of a different gender. Photos/net. “Allowing it or not is something to decide all together, in order to have an agreement and avoid any scenarios that could put our relationship at risk,” she says. According to Edwin Shema, there is possibility for one to end up catching feelings for the other. Tell me how on earth I would ever feel safe in a relationship knowing that my girlfriend confides in her ‘boy bestie’ than me. I am not saying this happens to all people with best friends of the opposite sex, but either way, it’s not good for the relationship, he says. Shema notes that you have to make a choice to either choose your partner or your bestie, “You cannot have it both ways, because your partner has to be your best friend.” Judith Dusabinema believes that as long the best friend is not trying to compete, it is totally fine with her. If her partner doesn’t give her a reason to be jealous, she would then not be bothered, she says. She however points out that she expects the best friend to know her boundaries with her boyfriend and not try to compete with her in any way. “If they hang out and include me, probably not everywhere because they can have their moments too, then that is okay. When the bestie tries to compete with me, that is when my boyfriend gets to choose between me or the bestie,” says Dusabinema. Samuel Rukundo says he can be okay with his partner’s best friend until it becomes a problem. “I can’t say that I like it but if I choose to trust my girlfriend, then that’s what I will do despite her having a boy best friend. I don’t trust boy best friends because as soon as the girl gets vulnerable, they try to take advantage of that and probably try to engage physically,” says Rukundo. Kevine Rusagara says that she is fine with it as long as there is trust in the relationship. She notes that she can’t be worried since she can also have a close male best friend, and it would be normal for her. That’s why she says she would try to understand her boyfriend having a girl bestie because she believes it’s all about trusting each other that makes a great relationship. I don’t find any problem with my girlfriend having a boy best friend, says Sheridan Semigabo. “I believe that if we really love each other, then I don’t have to worry about her boy best friends not matter how many they would be. If our relationship is not one sided and we communicate and are there for one another always, there is no problem with my girlfriend having that boy bestie,” says Semigabo. King Kenny Nyamulinda however says he would not allow his girlfriend to have a best friend of the opposite sex. To start with, it’s best if my girlfriend is my best friend and vice versa. Some might think it’s a problem of trust in the relationship, but it’s about not trusting the best friend’s intentions because I can never know what he wants in truth, he says. He notes that it’s hard to trust that the connection they have won’t become stronger than what they have as a couple. Frank Ntakiyiruta says that the fact he is the one she chose to be her boyfriend makes it clear that she wants a romantic relationship with him and not with the best friend. “I would not tell her to quit being his best friend; all I could ask is to introduce me to the best friend so I get to know him better. By then, I would know if he really is just a friend or wants to mess around. If he somehow wants to cross the line, that is when I would tell my girlfriend to limit their friendship or better yet terminate it,” says Ntakiyiruta. Sifa Mereweneza says your partner should be your best friend. It is much better like that because it helps in growing together and avoiding any sort of misunderstandings, she says. “Some are likely to go to their best friends if they have an argument in their relationship, and share everything which is not right. The best friend can take advantage of this and start offering ill-advise. I believe that two people in a relationship are the ones to find solutions to their problems together,” says Mereweneza. She hence notes that it is uncomfortable to know that your partner has a best friend of a different gender because a relationship has to be just about two people who understand and support each other.
