The Ideal Wedding

A throng of jovial young men and women march stoically in rank and file on a stony weather beaten track snaking around the rugged landscape of Burera District, in the Northern Province. In the searing heat, they are eager to avoid the dust from a passing pick up truck and are clearly not in the mood for a lift. At the head are two men clad in black suits, sweating, and not minding about it, followed by a horde of men and boys. Further back, two women in white long dresses, one whose head is adorned with a garment that is difficult to pass for a wedding tiara, the other with a long white gown, hold up their dresses like enthusiastic hitchhikers headed for a sudden gorilla tracking treat. This wedding procession is a genuine image of happiness, a display of an artistic clash of cultures in the Rwanda countryside, between western and Kinya-rwanda types of wedding. To complete the set up, a man is carrying a dilapidated music system, wires hanging out of it, the other end connected to a rechargeable battery which is hoisted high on another shoulder. The music keeps the spirits of the just married couple high as it pours generously into the valleys below, saturating the mood in the thrilled entourage who serenade the couple along as they hike up into the steep hills. Perhaps this is not your ideal wedding, but for these young couple it matters not because it is already a match made in heaven. Everybody has their own idea of how they want their weddings to be like. Dennis, an electrical engineer, wants a simple wedding which will cost an affordable sum, doing away with the flashy tendencies of hiring Mercedes Benz cars to make the motorcade. But Michelle, his fiancée, will hear none of it. “I want the real thing,” she says as her eyes light up idyllically. “I want a traditional Kinya-rwanda introduction ceremony in all its grace before a proper western style wedding in Kigali.” Prompting looks of discomfort from Dennis who is clearly worried about the financial implications of his fiancée’s desired indulgences. However he does not raise his finger, lest the romantic mood is punctured with pointless animosity. Amidst the sea of affection around the couple, you would think that the wedding would be the most agreeable thing to both of them. But from their statements, they already have their first major fight on their hands approaching. Weddings in Rwanda are the full package, a traditional marriage ceremony, a civil marriage followed by a typical western style church wedding, where the couple makes their vows and finally a wedding reception. It all begins with the wedding meetings every week where friends and colleagues make pledges to logistically support the couple. It’s very important to contribute to people’s weddings as Christian comments, “You know if you have been supporting others during their weddings, it is the surest way of having your own wedding massively logistically and morally supported.” Emmanuel who recently got married to his sweetheart got started on the preparations with a simple vow to his workmates. “I will make in February next year.” It all passed for another joke until early January when he announced a wedding date and started asking for advice on where to buy what, as his work colleagues looked on in astonishment. Emanuel had set his eyes on a simple but decent wedding ceremony that did not need him to pitch camp at friend’s doors begging for financial support. After a wedding mass in a St. Michael Catholic church alongside three other couples the newly weds hosted their family, friends and colleagues to a brief two hour reception at an affordable Kigali hotel. The ceremony went like clockwork. Speeches were brief and interesting, the waters made sure that guests were constantly sipping a drink and courtesy of the oratory of the event’s only lined act of entertainment in Kinya-rwanda, everyone including the bride went home with a few painful ribs to trouble them. Joel was amazed at how modest but successful the wedding had been but his friend Julian who is set to be wedded could hear none of it. “My wedding will be the best day of my life,” she said while closing her eyes dreamingly, her hands clasped. “Our families will go all the way to help us to make sure that it is a very memorable day.” Luckily for the rest of us whom are set to make the invitations list for Julian’s wedding, a grand wedding awaits. Joel sums it up that “whether your entourage is made of limousines in Nyarutarama or excited village mates on a dusty Burera path, it remains a wedding in the eyes of God.” kelviod@yahoo.com