Aunt’s corner

I am a young single lady with a stable job. I have an identical twin sister who is happily married with three children. While I have succeeded career-wise and failed many times on relationships, she has managed to succeed in both her career and building a family. We recently met for lunch and she realised I copy everything she does. I go to the same saloon she goes to; I buy almost the same clothes she buys and everything else. Recently, she bought a car and I bought an identical one, with the same colour. She was very mad with me. She thinks am out to compete with her. Honestly I don’t know why I am doing these things. I just find myself in that situation. Is it the twin feeling pushing me to do identical things like my sister or is it something else? Janice Dear Janice, You don’t sound a malicious person. I would like to think that your intention of copying everything your sister does is purely out of your connection as twins, or just wanting the best for yourself too. Twins have a tendency of doing almost the same things alike, sometime even when they are a thousand miles apart. I have seen it in action at least twice in my lifetime during my high school days. Twins have something between them, they can have a conversation without talking, and this is called telepathic communication. They used to say it’s a myth – but it has been proven otherwise. By the way, telepathy is not just in twins, it can be a brother to a sister, a child to a parent or animal to the owner, depending on how close the two of them are, but of course in most cases it is found in identical twins. Your sister might mistake your way of doing similar things as jealousy. So you should be in a position to make her understand that it is only natural for most identical twins to behave the way you do or you like her way of doing things. If it is within your powers to control your feelings, of wanting to copy everything you sister does, then I advise you to control yourself, because such behaviour can get out of hand. Tomorrow you might find yourself impersonating her; this can land you in trouble. Take time and talk to a close friend or a professional counsellor so that your problems don’t go deeper than they already are, though I know sometimes it’s the feeling of not matching up to your sister is what is causing the anxiety. While you are both successful in your careers, she has managed to raise up a family, and done it well too, while your relationships are not working out. Do not despair; everything happens with a reason, at its own time. In the meantime make peace with your sister and assure her of your love. kayitesius@yahoo.com