For many people, the concept of self-love might sound like a luxury rather than a necessity. However, studies underscore its relevance owing to its ability to support a person’s mental and physical health. Self-love means having a high regard for your own well-being and happiness—this can involve taking care of your own needs and not sacrificing your well-being to please others. Nelly Rurangwa Umulisa, a psychology student, shares that while growing up, people have been conditioned to pay attention and work on building relationships with others; be it in family, at school, work and other different communities they belong to. She says, the goodness of relationships with others has been highly preached and encouraged. We spend most of our time and energy looking for friends, a lover, but we neglect forming a healthy relationship with ourselves or practicing self-love. Self-love means having a high regard for your own well-being and happiness. Photo: Net “Many of us are afraid to dive into self-love because we confuse it with selfishness. This is why I believe it is crucial to understand what self-love is in order to get the most out of it,” she explains. According to her, self-love is the way we take care of our own needs and well-being through small acts. Those acts may be physical or non-physical. Self-love goes way beyond wearing nice clothes and applying lotion that makes our skin glow. It also involves developing a healthy relationship with oneself through the process of self-acceptance. “Developing self-love is a process, the more you practice it the better you become at it. Self-love might have a different meaning for each person since we all have different ways of attending to our own needs,” she says. Umulisa points out that anyone who wants to practise this can start by, for instance, cultivating healthy habits such as caring about themselves; this can involve eating healthy, exercising and having enough sleep. “Setting healthy boundaries, that is to say, saying no to others to take care of your needs isn’t being mean. Practicing mindfulness too is important, this may take time for you to understand why you behave or feel the way you do because it is from there that the shift from negative patterns becomes possible,” she adds, noting that self-love is a continuous choice and process. However, investing time in treating yourself right is something your future-self will definitely thank you for. Why does self-love matter? Norah Mutesi, a businesswoman, explains that to her, self-love is when a person learns to depend on themselves because it is then that one gets a chance to truly become happier in life. For anyone aiming at learning this, she recommends starting by building trust in themselves. “Be confident and seek to find peace in you as a person. Believe in yourself and also, learn to forgive others.” Umulisa adds that people need to understand the relevance of self-love by first understanding that it is a necessity and not a luxury. “Through self-love, we are able to protect ourselves from self-sabotage caused by unhealthy bonds with ourselves. Self-love allows us to be fulfilled in every aspect of our life. It helps us develop healthy connection with others, influences how we perform our work and cope with life struggles. Furthermore, it enables us to develop a good feeling about our abilities, opinions and ourselves,” she adds. For Aline Mazimpaka, a yoga instructor, self-love is the beginning of everything. She believes that we can’t give what we don’t have. “Once you know how to love yourself, that is when you can start to love others,” she says. She recommends practising meditation as one of the ways to practice self-love. “Through meditation, you learn to connect with yourself, you discover who you are. In addition to this, you realise that the things you have been searching for from the outside like love, inner peace, acceptance, are within you,” Mazimpaka adds.
