If you are a regular social media user, you might have come across couples who constantly give updates on their relationships. They share pictures of almost every minute of their relationship, sometimes even the intimate moments. Yvette Uwamwezi, a mother of two, believes that most couples post to make their significant other feel more secure by going public. “They can do it personally of course, but going public takes courage and you can’t really introduce someone to the world unless you are dead serious about them. Everyone judges couples who are public about their relationship until they fall for someone worth going public for,” she says. For many people, what gives them satisfaction is the public image. The reality of their life and relationship is not nearly as important to them as their public image, which is where they derive the most pleasure and satisfaction. Social media is the perfect platform for those types of people. Some people just want to share their joy though! Please be one of those people, Uwamwezi adds. Updating your followers about your happy moments is not a bad thing. But how about when the relationship takes the wrong turn? Instances where estranged couples delete photos, insult and block each other continue to play out on social media. Sometimes such couples, Didier Nkiriye, a father of two says, realise this mistake when it’s too late. When everybody has gotten to know their relationship issues. “While sharing your relationship happiness is not a bad idea, you have to know where to draw the line. You have to be careful about sharing things regarding your relationship online. While you shouldn’t keep your relationship a secret, you shouldn’t post everything about your relationship online. It’s a bad idea,” he says. A 2014 University of Toronto study looked at people who use a lot of Facebook posting for their marriage. The study showed that the more they do the more insecure they are about their relationship. Jackline Iringaniza, a counsellor in Kigali, believes that the question should be about progress and loss of sincerity. “I guess it depends on the individuals. Only they would know if it’s genuine or just a facade to the world more than to each other. If you think about it, even if you give your loved one a card with some loving words, it does not make it sincere or genuine. Therefore, the only true gauges are time and being honest to one’s self. “If you want to brag about your relationship and let the world know how lucky you are to be in love, don’t overdo it. While it might seem special to upload a photo of you and your love just waking up, you are actually allowing strangers get a glimpse into your private moment. This shouldn’t be so,” she says. Claudine Munezero, has been married for two years and never posts anything regarding her marriage life on any social media platform. Because of limited censorship, she is of the view that it’s always good to keep your relationship away from all of this nastiness and influence of the world. “I am happy in my marriage but I don’t see the need to keep telling the whole world about it. Not everybody will be happy for you and not everybody is interested,” she says. She adds that not everything we see on social media is what it really is. Couples that post every detail of their relationship are either so in love, they cannot help but constantly gush about each other on social media, or they don’t really have that great a relationship, and therefore need to seek outside validation. “While they are posting lots on social media, chances are that they are suffering more and trying to compensate for problems in their relationship,” she says. Uwamwezi, however, believes that what we see on social media is not new because human behaviour has been the same for a long time. “Some people need to make their accomplishments known to as many people as possible. However, all of the human behaviours we see on social media existed before the invention of these platforms. The only difference is now you can flaunt all you want on a global scale rather than just the people you know,” she says.
