People do not feel like marriage anymore

In this so called civilized world full of technology where we have but slowly forgotten our culture and adopted the western culture, the marriage institution has slowly been disregarded. One is no longer termed as a social misfit in the society if not married. The reasons as to why people are delaying to marry are as countless as the reasons for divorce. Its no wonder that people are in no rush to get married when all they see around them are marriages doomed for failure with the ever rising number of divorce rates. Not to mention when experienced first hand, either from your own parents or from friendships with others of failed marriages, thinking about it only gets more and more stressful. Nowadays people feel at ease with the alternative cohabitation popularly known as “come we stay”. You are basically married to the person, the only difference being that there is not a piece of paper legally binding anybody together, and you do your taxes separately. Why worry about, paperwork, and the money and time involved in an age old tradition, when you can just move in together and not worry about the details? That is the kind of reasoning we are having in today’s time and age. Gladys, a 26 year old is not anywhere near getting married she says. She was raised by a very abusive father. She has seen what her mother went through and is not really ready to go through down that road. She is actually planning to invest on a pet. According to Gladys, apparently the Japanese opt to invest in pets and that actually there are shops which sell pets` clothes. The world has left no example of the known statement “and they lived happily ever after” women have become independent and have attained self awareness by becoming more career minded. Traditionally, the man was in charge of providing for his home and marriage provided a sense of security to the woman. Another business man who declined to tell his age but looked like he was in his forties said that he hasn’t married yet because he has been in search of a woman who will be ready to accept polygamy. He wants a woman who will understand that it is natural for a man to have many wives and concubines and she should be able to live with that. He claims that even in wild life, the lion chooses the lioness and can have as many as possible. The man continued to say that the learned ladies have gained a sense of confidence that makes the man feel inferior. It is not some of the ladies choice not to marry. Father Dominic Okwadha of St. Michael`s cathedral thinks that there is scarcity of the middle aged men in Rwanda due the effects of the genocide. Majority of the remnants are in prison. He says that the economic crisis world wide has affected almost everything, whereby young men can no longer afford to support a family leave alone a church wedding. “Although the Rwandans respect the sacrament of marriage, economic constraints have forced them not to marry.” He added. Isolation from the society is another reason that one Fr. Dominic highlighted. People are spending so many years in school thus the pressure which a man gets from the society to get married lucks. Women are now more educated than before and are earning equal salaries as men and even more. They are now viewing marriage as a way of women loosing their identity and get oppressed. Women have obtained a sense of equality to men and thus you find conflicts in marriage due to the African`s man mentally of servitude. Women have increasingly demanded the sharing of even house hold chores with their husbands. I am yet to find out how successful they have been in that. In many African countries women need to marry, otherwise, they get rejected by the society, they have no choice. Women had no right and could never live like human beings in dignity. I do not know what is worse, being rejected from society or being married. Anyways, the important thing is to promote the rights women have in society. In that way they can have a life and do not need to marry anymore. I do respect the marriage institution but it should not be a scapegoat for women troubles. Yet again, Studies have shown that isolation can be as harmful to health as heavy smoking and drinking. Therefore, marriage is still important depending on how one wants to view it. Contact: karuthum@gmail.com