One day, Florah found herself wishing to go into a comma. She was daydreaming of being bedridden reasoning that, she would then manage to find some rest without feeling guilty for ignoring her responsibilities. You see, she had a lot on her plate and too little time for herself. This, however, was eating away at her soul and though she recognised it a bit late, she was actually falling into depression. It was later, after seeking counselling, that she realised how overworking herself had deeply affected her emotional and mental state. It’s easy to be caught up with the daily routine of burying ourselves with work since society often commands how our worth is measured by our success, which is always measured by our productivity. And since most people are managing careers as well as families, at times it becomes hard for one to fix time for a spa day, or spare time to read a book or go for dinner with a friend. However, counsellor Shadia Nansasi warns against this, saying that one cannot pour from an empty cup. This is why it is important that we take care of ourselves mentally, emotionally and physically, because then we are actually allowing ourselves the chance to be more productive. In order to live a good and fulfilling life, it is important to give yourself time to rest and recharge, she says. She recommends getting enough sleep and practicing meditation as one of the best ways to reinstate and connect with one’s mind and body. “When we take good care of ourselves, we are giving ourselves the opportunity to rejuvenate our minds and bodies. This way, we fill up our cups and can then accomplish our tasks at optimal capacity,” the counsellor adds. Nkusi Muhoza, a sales manager, who suffers from anxiety and depression, says he only realised his emotional health was deteriorating when he started having more sombre moods. He had stopped going out with friends, his dating life was in limbo and all of this was happening because work had taken over his life, he barely had time for himself or even others. This, he says, affected all of his relations with others. “That’s when I realised how important self-care is. I now know that I shouldn’t take care of myself only when everything falls apart. I should be able to do this every day,” he says. Muhoza makes it a point to exercise a few times in a week, he has made it priority to connect with friends and loved ones, and also, he now practices self-compassion. “I am more forgiving and understanding towards myself. I have learnt to forgive myself when I make a mistake. Basically, I treat myself the way I would want others to treat me, and this is slowly changing my life,” he says. Lindsay Holmes, a wellness writer, notes that self-care shouldn’t be reduced to a fleeting activity or dispensable product. It shouldn’t even just be considered a wellness phenomenon. It’s a difficult but necessary act that helps us survive in a world with work demands, family pressures, duties at home, rampant incidents of sexual harassment, a relentless news cycle, financial worries and more. Inner reflection takes time and energy ― resources we’re already lacking. Self-care is hard work, she notes. How to engage in self-care Holmes points out that self-care isn’t some new concept, though it has shifted towards the notion that improving our well-being is only a product away. “That’s not nearly adequate to help us survive in the world today. Self-care is not attending some extravagant spa day with the girls, rather being able to identify when I need to slow down and perhaps cancel that spa day.” Nansasi recommends exercising as a daily part of your self-care routine. Regular exercise helps in boosting one’s physical and mental wellbeing, it also boosts moods by reducing stress and anxiety. The counsellor notes that learning how to say ‘no’ can make a tremendous change in one’s life. “Many people feel obligated to always say yes to people, but this can be harmful as it can lead to burn out. Whereas one can do it out of a good heart, it can lead to irritability and exhaustion.” She goes on to commend taking trips and travelling with loved ones every once in a while. “Getting away from everything and going for a weekend, or taking a trip every now and then can help you relax and be re-energised.” When grooming yourself for self-care as part of a routine, it is important to schedule self-care time and respect it. Though it can be hard at times to find extra time, it’s very important to plan regular self-care time. Moments alone can help you consider the best ways to move forward in your life and keep you grounded. And moments with loved ones can help you feel more connected and peaceful.
