WOMAN 2 WOMAN: How to discipline your children

The first mark of a disciplining mother is that she does not do anything for her children that they can do for themselves. This is not to suggest that a mother should refuse to serve her children a glass of milk when they ask for it. Some parents are so concerned with creating the impression that their children are the best that they teach their children to put image over substance and display something that children know they did not build. As a matter of fact if a child is treated like that, it is most likely that they will continue to place image over substance as they grow older. He/ she will be all promise and no performance at work. He will look faithful to his wife and have a “honey” on the side. How do you keep a 1-year-old from heading toward the DVD player? Whatever the age of your child, it’s important to be consistent when it comes to discipline. If parents don’t stick to the rules and consequences they set up, their kids are not likely to either. Here are some ideas about how to vary your approach to discipline to best fit your family; Babies and toddlers are naturally curious. So it is wise to eliminate temptations and no-nos — items such as TVs and jewellery, and especially medications should be kept well out of reach. When your crawling baby or roving toddler heads toward an unacceptable or dangerous play object, calmly say “No” and either remove your child from the area or distract him or her with an appropriate activity. It’s important to not spank, hit, or slap a child of any age. Babies and toddlers are especially unlikely to be able to make any connection between their behaviour and physical punishment. They will only feel the pain of the hit. As your child grows and begins to understand the connection between actions and consequences, make sure you start communicating the rules of your family’s home. Explain to kids what you expect of them before you punish them for certain behaviour. For instance, the first time your 3-year-old uses his/her pencil to write on the sitting room wall, discuss why that is not allowed and what will happen if your child does it again (for instance, your child will have to help clean the wall). While you become clear on what behaviour will be punished, do not forget to reward good behaviour. Do not underestimate the positive effect that your praise can have — discipline is not just about punishment but also about recognizing good behaviour. There is a tendency among mothers to want to treat their children with “kid” gloves if they have done something. But eventually this spoils the child as they will repeat the same mistake. While it may be hurtful, disciplining your children will save you and it a lot of problems in future. Every time a child does something bad, the easiest thing to do is to explain to them what is wrong with what they have done and why they deserve to be punished. And do not forget that children learn by watching adults, particularly their parents. Make sure your behaviour is role-model material. Contact: Ubernie@gmail.com