The Hater: I hate people who…

…have failed to decide on which cell phone line to use. I am talking of that guy seated next to you who thinks it is cool to have two phone lines. Some people think of them as two-phone tycoons. I think they are simply undecided and crazy. Tigo is coming soon; will they keep three phones then? I wish the government could tax people who hold more than one phone yet they are not mechanics or phone dealers. Why practice polygamy on the telecom companies. What happened to being faithful to one communication partner? If you cannot decide on which one to use then I suggest you simply abstain from the whole exercise. …fight to enter in commuter taxis after work. I may understand the fighting in the morning as people struggle to go to work. You do not want to get there after your boss gets out of his Toyota Land Cruiser VX. It is different in the evening. Why do you fight to reach home? Will you be punished for late coming or do you expect to get a slot on the Olympics wrestling team? I hate you for stepping on my suede shoes, for putting your reputation at stake by passing through the window. I wish The New Times cameramen would hate with me and take pictures of these crazy people for our front page. And I pray your landlord increases your rent too. …rush back to office after smoking. For some weird reason these people think that the smell of tobacco will simply stay behind as they enter the office. They forget that the smoke is now all over their garments and it is all in their breath. Smoking from outside is good courtesy indeed; importing some of that poisonous smoke back in the office is simply unfair to non-smokers. I know a good number of such people working for a big media house here in Kigali. I think I should buy for them toothbrushes and a sack of chewing gum in order to save the environment of their newsroom. …shout at waiters and waitresses. Whose fault is it if your mother failed to teach you how to behave in public? Although the customer is king, you do not have to expose your ill manners by raising your voice in the restaurant. I suggest you be patient and wait for service or simply walk out and try another place. You did not come here to address a political rally and these are adults not children that you are shouting at. Remember this is a restaurant and not a discotheque so it is not sound proof. Please behave so we can all enjoy our meals. …simply drink more alcohol than their system can handle. These are some of the hardest people not to hate. They think that it is cool not to think. One of them suddenly entered my house recently and started uttering lots of unintelligible words. He later dropped the beer bottle on the floor and thus poured alcohol in my house. I felt so angry to the extent that I now agree with whoever said that some people are alive because it is illegal to kill them. I will stick to hating for now. Let me help you hate by sending your suggestions to thehater2009@gmail.com