Yvette stood before the mourners and poured out her tribute to the man of her life, the one she had called husband for 21 years. ‘Albert and I met on campus and what started off as a friendship ended up in a marriage that became the only thing I lived for. Albert loved me; he loved his family and loved his old boys too. Albert and I were best friends who never hid anything from each other.’ she said amid sobs. Albert, a re-known businessman, had passed on and this was the first time friends and family had gathered to celebrate his life. The mourning was dealt with a blow on day two and three! Yvette’s husband and best friend had sired a child with a woman he met a few years before, sadly she never got to know about it...or did she know but just chose to keep quiet? She who spoke warmly about her best friend, who never kept any secrets from her had a lot more coming her way. As different sessions were being held, mourners grew in number and it occurred to Yvette that one of the men closest to her husband knew everything that went on. It dawned on her that he knew her husband more than she did. He stood up to greet the mourners and to ‘honour’ a fallen comrade by deciding to tell the truth as he knew it; ‘Albert would never forgive me if I did not protect his family, a few years ago Albert met Anne and he fell in love with her, that relationship bore a son who is now 4 years old. It would be a shame for me to keep quiet as the child is alienated from funeral plans. I love and respect Yvette but I respect the wishes of my friend too. When he was hospitalised his wishes were that I could provide and protect his young child.’ There was silence as all eyes rested on the widow. It was obvious she was struggling to remain composed, people around were looking for signs that she knew this already but there was none and that was confusing. As if the hurt and humiliation was not enough for the widow by day 4 of the funeral arrangements, another woman had shown up with a kid she claimed belonged to the deceased. At this point, there was a court injunction stopping any plans to bury or cremate the deceased until issues of the child who came to light first, were resolved. Anne was looking for recognition, acknowledgement and for her son to be included in the plans to bury his father. By the time the deceased was laid to rest a lot of ‘observers’ were stunned; how could friends and family have kept quiet with information like this only to reveal it to the widow on her husband’s funeral? Do we have genuine relationships at all? Assuming the wife had known of the husband’s extramarital affairs and children, for what reason would she bury that, wouldn’t it have been better to deal with it before the husband passed on? That would have spared her the public humiliation. As a wife, could she have managed this better?
