Humour: How my Val’s Day status changed

Yesterday, many celebrated some dead guy’s day. That guy, I understand is now a Saint. That’s because he died for love. This year, I was determined to join the madness. Ok, for the past many times since I first heard of that day, I used to somehow celebrate it. And each year found me with a different Valentine. Don’t go doubting me, I think the problem was with the girls. I swear. Anyway, it so happened that the last babe I celebrated Val’s with last year is now in my X file. Again, I emphatically remind you that it was no fault of mine. On New Year ’s Eve, I received a very warm loving caring Happy Prosperous New Year message from my latest X. I thought I would build on that to revive what attracted us together in the first place. She didn’t respond to the email. Then I tried all her phone numbers; the old landline like number of Terracom and then MTN. All was in vain. However, I managed to get her Rwandatel line from one of those she had given her phones to. I felt the act of breaking all forms of contact surely must have been a great sign of her love for me. Anyway (I use this word a lot, could it be the reason behind my woes?)…anyway, I called her and as way of encouragement advised me to call her when I am ‘disponible’! Before I could really get the meaning of ‘disponible’, I got another email from the X before the latest X. She was asking about how I was doing. Remembering how hot and fine she was, I decided to try the sympathy vote search. I told her I was still the same old me…and asked her whether she was not married by now…hot as she was. She said she wasn’t and was wondering whether some fine Kigali babe had not already taken me up and gotten me a baby of my own. I vehemently denied this. She begged me to come to K’la for Val’s day as we had so much to catch up on. I was like ‘wow….I will fly in on Friday.’ And then there is this babe who has been giving me all the right signals of trying to maintain my ‘new Valentine every Valentine’ status. Anyway (there I go again), my latest X (I hope you are following closely) called and asked me what plans I had for Val’s Day. I said I only dreamed of being with her and she once again told me it depended on me and ‘disponible’ I will be on that day. Then the days rushed. And before I knew it, it was already Friday the Thirteenth!!!! When a pal of mine told me it was Friday the Thirteenth, its significance became clearer to me. I had not yet made up my mind whether to go to Kampala, be disponible or try my luck with this new potential Valentine. I decided to drink on it with some friends. Then we drunk on it. And time flew and my cellphone battery run out. And I woke up at 1 p.m yesterday. That meant I couldn’t make it for the K’la X. The Kigali X was so angry when I called as she thought I was with someone else anyway. The potentialest Valentine was so angry and shared similar sentiments with the Kigali X. So, yesterday will have a blank in my line of Valentine Day celebrations. I had no one to celebrate it with. Like you care. Anyway, today I went to church to try to find out more about this Saint. Ends