Impressions: ‘The Lover’ Part 11

Hooray, Mr.Lover is back! In our last series of ‘The Lover’, for those of you who followed last season, I mean last Sunday, I decided to go against my colleague’s rules ‘The Hater’ and do my own thing, that is dishing out some love, free of charge. Though this will be the last bit, I still have enough love in store and if you can follow the link below (I mean my email), I can truly reserve some Love for you. My workmate just suggested that I should add ‘especially Ladies’ and am strongly objecting to the view though it somehow has some sense. My love goes to you Kigali Moto riders even though you may not read this (some of you might), you are really good guys! You haven’t disappointed. You somehow return the love. That’s why every time I jump on any of your bikes you quickly pass me the helmet to protect my head just in case we happen to have a crash landing. I mean these fellows don’t just over-speed, they fly. So somehow a crash landing is eminent. The other time we flew past a guy in a cool Benz and I had him complain, “why did I even have to buy a car?” I should have bought one of those 2 wheeled rockets…phew. It doesn’t matter whether those ‘hell-mets’ are water resistant (they are allergic to water, reason they are never washed, hell no!), they still do the job. Our part is only to ask God to protect us from any infections we might catch from the dirty helmets. I salute some of you who have the sense to wash those green jackets and keep the helmets clean, way to go boys (and girls too), you take the biggest chunk of my love. Not to forget are the ‘smart conductors’ in Kigali’s taxis and buses. The ones who wear their jeans and sneakers spotlessly clean and maintain some good level of hygiene. These are living examples to their colleagues who think that it’s trendy to wear dirty clothes and wear the ‘Sweat’ scent (Don’t go to the shop to ask for this, just don’t shower) throughout the day when you are a conductor. As I speak we have started a campaign among ourselves known as ‘Yes we can, we conductors can be clean too’. Lastly, just like you and him and her, I pass all my love to you Miss Money (Money must be a she depending on how everybody seems to love it). I know you are illiterate, you are likely not to read this but nevertheless, I still declare my love to you, much as you don’t return the love. You are so mean Girl! Every time I get hold of you, you somehow manage to slip out of my pockets unnoticed, the next thing I know, am looking for more of you and still I can’t get enough of you. Can’t you even at least decide to stay with me for some time? If you don’t want to be in my pockets, at least opt to stay in my bank account! Jesus Christ, whoever invented you money! Did he even have me in his plans? He should have given me some ownership rights on you, unfortunately he didn’t! Contact: kagire_eddie@yahoo.com