Uwihoreye on grieving and growing as a young widow

Eugenie Uwihoreye was widowed when she was 24 years old. She lost her husband during the 1994 Genocide against the Tutsi. They had been married for five years and had three children. She lost the father of her children, her companion and closest friend, she says. Naturally, her life took a drastic turn, as she had children to fend for solely. Many women in Rwanda were left widows after the brutal killings of the 1994 Genocide against the Tutsi that claimed more than a million innocent lives in a span of 100 days. On Saturday June 23, the world will commemorate the International Widows Day, a UN approved day of action to address the “poverty and injustice faced by millions of widows and their dependents all over the world”. In Rwanda, many associations were created to help rebuild the lives of the widows of the Genocide. Such organisations include COTABORU Twuzuzanye (a cooperative society of orphans and widows), Association of Genocide Widows Agahozo (AVEGA Agahozo), and Appui psychosocial des femmes victims des violences sexuelles, among others. During the interview, Uwihoreye had a laid-back air and said that she is “the kind who lets go and doesn’t hold onto the past.” She lives for today, and worries less about what tomorrow will bring; this is what has helped her sail through the storm in her life. “After my husband died, I was troubled and depressed. I felt alone and wondered if I was ever going to be okay and raise my children. I then realised that I had to hold onto what was left of my life and move on the best way I could,” Uwihoreye says. Years went by and she got stronger, doing small jobs like tending to people’s farms for survival. She then met a man and fell in love. Things got a little better as he helped her out monetarily, and even sired four other children with her. However, the comfort was short-lived when he left her for another woman. Humiliated and heartbroken, Uwihoreye once again found herself picking up the pieces of her life. Now with seven children to fend for, life had literally brought her to her knees; she had no source of income whatsoever. Before her second relationship came to an end, she worked with Utexrwa, a textile industry, as a tailor but later lost her job and her kids who had started school had to drop out. Things were getting worse. “My children went through a lot, I was their mother and I was failing them. They had nothing to eat, I could barely clothe them and the only thing I could offer was shelter in a one-room house,” she says. “I have lived a hard life, at some point, I even lost hope. My husband was gone and life wasn’t showing any sign of improvement.” For over 10 years, Uwihoreye led a distressed life. Turning point Just when she felt all walls were closing in on her, hope came her way in 2004. Her home sector in Kinyinya, Gasabo, where she was residing, called for vulnerable women to join cooperatives that would train them in weaving. “We joined cooperatives that trained us in weaving baskets for two weeks and we started making them for sale. I started earning a decent living. I made some money to buy food and clothes for my children,” she says. It was from the sector that an official from Rwanda Women Network got in touch with her and she became a beneficiary of the organisation. Rwanda Women Network is a non-government organisation that works towards improving the socio-economic welfare of women in Rwanda. It is with this organisation that the 48-year-old got her livelihood back. “When I joined Rwanda Women Network in 2004, I got the skills that helped me survive. I can make modern charcoal stoves, I know how to weave and I am also a tailor, I learnt how to sew and make sweaters with a modern sewing machine,” Uwihoreye says. She attributes her survival to the mercy of God. “I have gone through a lot and I believe that God has been with me all through because there’s no way that was my own strength.” Life got better; she’d make over Rwf150, 000 a month through selling sweaters, baskets and the charcoal stoves she made. She also joined a savings group which helped boost her reserves. With her earnings, she managed to set up electricity for her house. She later saved and constructed a three-bedroom house where she now lives with her children. “I remember I spent five years without paying for Mutuelle de Santé (community-based health insurance) because I couldn’t afford it, but this is all in the past, because I now earn a decent living. My children are all educated, three of them completed — one is now working. My eldest daughter got married and three are still in primary school,” she says. The mother of seven also managed to construct two other houses for rent in Kinyinya sector. She hopes to start a business that will help boost her income daily. The plight of widows After the loss of a spouse, women often face a string of challenges, right from the denial of inheritance and land to demeaning burial rights and other forms of abuse. Debby Karemera, the programmes officer at Never Again Rwanda, points out that in today’s society, widows encounter a number of challenges, citing difficulties in raising children, especially those who are low income earners and don’t get support from their immediate families or their husband’s families. The other challenge widows’ face, she says, is societal discrimination. Karemera is of the view that these women need economic support and that they can be trained on project management and sustainability of their income generating activities, especially those who did not get the chance to go to school to get basic education. “The women who are educated and have the ability to support their children should have established safe spaces for them to express some of the difficulties they face to prevent depression and trauma,” Karemera says. She commends the already existing initiatives that were put in place to help widows. “Cooperatives and saving schemes have been put in place to address the economic needs of widows; this also enables them to support their children,” Karemera says. editorial@newtimes.co.rw

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Uwihoreye on grieving and growing as a young widow