Humour: Diaspoman: Wrangles at the Remera Gymnasium

I have recently been caught up in wrangles at the gymnasium situated in Remera. Aggrey and I have been recently visiting the gym in order to burn off some of the fat on our bodies. We have been frequent visitors to the gymnasium, in a bid to cut down on our beer bellies. But now, circumstances are forcing us out due to some few wrangles involving other senior members of our communities.Yes, you guessed right! The senior members of our society have been scrambling for juicy positions so as to feed their ever hungry eyes. If you are still lost, let me first of all fill you in on some advantages of visiting this nice gymnasium. Despite the physical pain caused by the exercises, there are two aspects of the gym that have really got us excited. The first one is the background music that all participants have to follow, as they bend and stretch their ageing muscles. The music played is awesome, ranging from Beyonce to Koffi Olomide. As the music heats up, you sometimes hear a creaking sound of disjointed bones emanating from the members, who happen to be twice our age. The second aspect that got us excited was the sight of the dot.com girls, who joined us in the hall. They are always spotted in tight bikinis and sleeveless tops that leave very little to your imagination. When they sway to the left and back to the right, the gentlemen in the room start to behave like car wipers. Our heads turn from one side to another, like lightening itself. That is why you will always find us rushing to the back of the hall, where we can get into strategic positions, and have a full menu of eye nutrition. As days passed by, news about this free video show, reached our enemies. Day by day, the gym class began to receive increasing number of guests. Some of them were already fit enough and had no need to reduce weight. Annoyingly for us, these very fit people were always first to attend the gym class and therefore always booked the most strategic places. They would pretend to be busy bending and touching their toes. But their eyes were always wide open, like an eagle ready to pounce on its prey. With such competition growing, Aggrey and I had to fight for our rights. One day, we came to the gym class late. Some senior members of our community, whose intentions were very similar to ours, had taken up our positions. We had to do what we had to do. So we called the manager of the place in order to complain about our dear positions. But alas! The manager took us aside and apologised. “Gentlemen, these people who have taken your positions are very senior members of our society. Please forgive them because they have insisted that they want to stay put!” Aggrey and I felt aggrieved. We almost took our wrangles to higher authorities but then, we decided to succumb.Besides, how were we going to start a complaint about being denied our optical nutrition? No sane arbitrator would give us audience. Now we have to try and face the competition. Either we have to reach the gym very early before our competitors come fighting for nice positions, or we just pack upour lousy bags and go home.We shall wait and see! Hey, 2009, here we come! Contact: diaspoman@yahoo.com