Dear counselor, A year ago while at school I got pregnant and unfortunately, I couldn’t finish my studies. Now I wish to go back to school but I’m afraid about how my schoolmates and friends will look at me. I’m interested in my education but I’m afraid my colleagues will mock me. YOURS MARY ----- Pregnancy and child birth involve major changes, including an assortment of emotions like joy, excitement and anticipation, but also uncertainty, doubt and fear. Raising a baby, especially as a teenager, is hard work whether you are in school or not. For sure, a new baby can change how you feel about your future, sometimes making you want to alter career choices. Your fear of going back to school is normal; however, use it as a guide for better life decisions. You need to be ready for the overwhelming task of parenting and child nurturing. In your case, resuming school is a great path to take as your chances for a bright future depend on it. Acknowledging your fears and facing them are important steps in transforming your life and making better decisions. Going back to school shouldn’t be about how people view you, rather, how you work towards a financially stable future for your own good and that of your child. We are all destined for procreation at some point in life. The only difference is the timing. You found yourself in the bracket of early child-bearing, which may influence your study routine a little but one thing you should know is that with time, things will settle, especially if you work towards pursuing a solid career. You need to be confident and have agood attitude. Positive self-esteem will be your greatest motivation and help you accomplish your goals sooner rather than later. The first thing you need to do is to ‘knockout’ your schoolmates with confidence. Confidence comes from trusting yourself. Make peace with yourself, accept the situation and learn from it. This means doing the things you really love and excel at so you feel happier at school. If you learn to love the person you really are, and also keep other people comfortable around you, you’ll generate even more confidence. Engage in extra-curricular activities, be it sports, a literature or music club or even religious association. These activities will hasten the socialisation process because you’ll get to interact witha variety of students who share your interests. Also, a good parenting-study balance is needed. You need to solicit support from family members, close friends and trusted teachers at school to help you through this time. You are capable of balancing these two tasks. Get your education and be a good role model to your child. Their thoughts... Steffy Bipfubusa, university student Why don’t you join another school so that you are not affected emotionally by the attitude of those around you regarding your situation? If you can manage to find another good school of your choice, it would be a safer and friendlier environment for you and will not affect your academics. ----- Jacky Kayitesi, University graduate It’s a good thing that you want to resume school after such a setback with your studies, so nothing should stop you from achieving your goals. Pay no mind to those who will talk about what happened to you in the past. Focus on your studies. The good days are ahead. ----- Jackeline Musabyimana, businesswoman We all go through problems and uncertainties in life but those problems do not define who we are or what our future will look like. So my advice is that you first embrace the beauty of having a child, be confident, believe in yourself and when you return to school, embrace who you are and don’t entertain negativity. Excel in your studies instead.
