Relationships: Of parents and the children’s ambitions

Different people have different perceptions to life. For example many think differently when it comes to happiness. In this festive season, many look for happiness. Many associate happiness with material benefits. Many parents go out of their way to find happiness for their children. By this they hope to get them the best they can. John Nfura a student at the National University of Rwanda says that ‘It has always been said that parents always want their kids to achieve what they (parents) may not have been able to achieve’. Nfura says that if a parent stopped in High school, he/ she will want the children he brings up to go to University, adding that if a parent stopped at the first degree, they will hope their kids get a masters degree and so forth. In actual sense, this is a truism as Nfura reveals of his own situation. ‘My father never went to University and it has always been his dream to see that all his children go to University’. Thus they create a relationship that is based on what things the kid is expected to achieve. In whatever they do, they always remind the children of the achievements or goals they expect them to have. More often than not, these goals may be at variance with the aspirations of the kids. Whereas parents who are ‘old school’ may think that going to school and achieving high grades is the sure road to happiness for their kids, the kids on the other hand especially in these days, may want a shortcut to happiness. A kid in high school may think that dropping out of school and pursuing a music career is the way to go. Or becoming a footballer is better than being a medical doctor as the parents may have envisioned. This is something that breaks relationships between kids these days and their parents. A young man may know that the road to happiness is making a lot of money in the shortest time possible. After all great footballers like Beckham, Ronaldo and others never went far with books but they earn much more than other professionals who spent the best part of their lives pursuing an education. In such a scenario it is important that parents advise and guide their kids on what may be important for their lives. However, it would also be very important to let kids pursue their dreams and talents. It appears that in modern times, many who earn a lot of money are those who have followed their talents, be it in entertainment, sports or business.Let your kids pursue their dreams and just guide them. But do not force career choices on them simply because you think that is what is best for them. This will ensure a good and harmonious relationship with your children. Ends