Woman 2 Woman: Plan ahead for your pregnancy

Thinking of having a baby in the New Year? It’s not just alcohol, wild nights out and your size 10 or 8 figure that you will be giving up for nine months and the years to follow. If you want to get pregnant the fact is that life will never be the same for you, and even the way you relate and lead your life before you get pregnant. Having a baby involves giving up a lot. The million dollar question before you get pregnant is: Are you ready to make the biggest sacrifice of your life? ‘My first pregnancy was ‘accidental’ and I was still at University. It gave me such a hard time that I was forced to ask for a dead year’, my friend Sheila recently confessed to me. ‘Even after spending one year at home looking after the baby, when I went back to Campus, it was hectic for me that I almost dropped out of the course. I missed lectures most of the time because either I had spent the previous night awake because the baby was crying or my housemaid had just quit her job’, she added. Sheila’s baby is now 3 years old and she admits that ‘it has not been an easy job looking after my daughter’. ‘My boyfriend was supportive but compared to the responsibility I had because of the baby, I think he did not do much’, she said. Sheila’s experience just mirrors what so many mothers go through and in particular the responsibility that comes with a baby. ‘I just want one good night’s sleep’, a friend said to me the other day. Another friend, over-hearing our conversation, said ‘Well I’m desperate to get my hair and nails done. I look so terrible I guess’. These are two former class mates at Campus. Apparently they are both career women and have comfortable lifestyles. It’s not like one can not afford to visit a Saloon on a daily basis or been tied to a desk job. So what’s their problem? They have both just had babies. Babies change your life no matter how prepared you are. Even the award winning mothers will tell you that, bringing up a child is no easy task, despite their willingness to make the necessary sacrifices for their children. Having a baby or child also means the interests of the baby will always come first at all costs, sometimes including sacrificing your job or career. So, before you get pregnant , first ascertain whether you are ready to abandon your juicy well paying job and take up the ‘temporary job’ at home. The other challenge you must be prepared to deal with is the issue of house helpers. In this case a housemaid. Many mothers will agree that while finding housemaids or house helps is not such a hard thing, finding a good one is not an easy thing. Procuering the services of a housemaids can be painful.Why? A housemaid is capable of waking up in the morning, only to tell you she has quit her job with no prior notice or come up with some excuse of how she has been ‘recalled’ back home. You should always be ready for such scenarios and the first thing you are going to do is to stay home as you look around for a replacement. It is a wise thing to start vetting for good housemaids before you give birth, make sure you know her home or family. The issue of finance should also be considered, whether you have the capacity to sustain the baby, meet all its needs in addition to your own, independently. It is unreasonable for you to start imagining that somebody will meet all your needs. In fact, in most cases family members just come in when you have just given birth to offer some support and as time goes on they leave you to take care of the baby. It is wrong to assume when you get pregnant that the man in question will automatically be responsible for the pregnancy in terms of meeting their (relatives’) material needs. Before you get pregnant, make sure that the father to be is aware and you have both agreed to have the baby. While children are a blessing, pregnancies that are not planned can be a recipe for disaster. Besides, gone are the days when fathers would pick up all the bills in a home! These days it is increasingly becoming difficult for men or fathers to solely meet the uber. Contact: ubernie@gmail.com