We all want to “belong” and feel accepted. A sense of belonging is derived from the strong bond of that emanates from the family. Family is where our roots take hold and from where we grow. We are mouldedmolded from within a unit, which prepares us for what we will experience in the world and how we react to those experiences. Values are taught at an early age and are carried with us throughout our life. As a potter moulds moldsof clay to form a beautiful creation so does the strong bond of family and values. Family bonds are a link to our beginning and a guide to our future. In most cases people who do not have strong family bonds lack self esteem and this affects their development but most importantly their relationships with others. A close family bond is like a safe harbour where we find refuge. From trusting that someone will pick us up when we fall, as a toddler, to someone being there for us as we experience the storms in life - family bonds help to instil instilltrust and hope in the world around us and belief in ourselves. Rituals of hugs, holidays and daily meals shared together, provide a sense of warmth, structure and safety. These rituals and traditions, not only create memories and leave a family legacy, but create our first path in life - one that is positive. As a mother, try as much as you can to encourage this in your family. Teach your children to respect each other and as a parent be a role model by strengthening the bond between you, their father and relatives. It just takes time and commitment. One of the good practices that you could try is inviting your close relatives and family friends to visit you as you also do the same. This will give the children a chance not only to get to know their relatives but also to appreciate their own people. Our very spirit can either blossom or wither within the family unit. When we do not have the security and influence of strong family bonds early in life, the ground work is laid for an emptiness that is often sought to be filled, through destructive venues. If one is not loved as a child, they may later seek love and acceptance in a way that brings them harm. There is a deep yearning to fill that hollowness, residing in the heart and soul, from never knowing what it’s like to be loved, accepted and appreciated for being part of a family. There can be long-term effects from living in a detached or dysfunctional family. The cycle is often repeated through generations. Children often grow up believing this dysfunctional unit is normal and they may gravitate toward people and situations that mimic the dysfunction they were accustomed to.zOften drug and alcohol abuse or domestic violence is acquired and repeated through a learned behaviour process. A child may due to poor self-image develop isolation and even anger syndromes from peers at school.This not only affects the emotional well-being of the child, but his or her physical well-being as well. This poor self-image may recur throughout the child’s life span, causing an inability to make positive choices or be close to others. Strong family bonds help us to thrive in all aspects of life. Lack of these bonds can lead to forever seeking what one may call the missing links. Don’t take the value of family bonds for granted. You can mould mold a beautiful creation for today and the generations that follow. Everywhere you look today you will find that the broken families fall apart partly because they do not have a background of strong family bonds. Family bonds are created by spending time together, caring for one another, and sharing family experiences, both good and bad. Strong family bonds bring security and give children a safe base on which to try their wings. Besides, a solid foundation is a much better start for life than a crumbling one. Merry Christmas. Contact: ubernie@gmail.com
