Relationships: Skeletons in the closet

Can you tell your spouse about your dark past? Relationships! There are many myths and mysteries surrounding the three word relationship called ‘love.’ As many females would for instance ideally hide their right age to save their relationships, many more things are done in the name of making relationships work out. Betty Mukakalisa has been dating for the past two years, and she is about to tie the knot. There are many secrets that she is still keeping from her spouse. It’s not that she is a liar, but her instincts are too sensitive to allow her talk about her past. She is not alone in this game of hiding the skeletons in her closet. It has turned out that talking about the past is a dreadful encounter. This related to issues like the number of previous relationships one has had. ‘I am a victim of being open to my girlfriend. I used to booze and do other crazy things and when I told her this, she quit’, says Farouk Murenzi. Being truthful about his past caused his fiancée to mistrust him and eventually this led to a break up of their relationship. ‘People enjoy equating relationships with having saintly backgrounds’, adds Murenzi. Thus due to this partners tend to pretend a lot, in case one’s past wasn’t good at all. ‘I almost wedded if it wasn’t for the discovery that my fiancée had two kids. I was shocked and called off the wedding’, says Liza Mutoni. How about others with so alarmingly chilly histories! Would their spouses endure the dark past? If your wife told you she has had several abortions, would you still love her? The truth hurts and with this the past can also be a bitter pill to swallow. Teen age life basically means experimenting with a vast variety of temptations; doing drugs, multiple dating, and much more. Thus when one reaches the turning point, they would rather not speak about the shameful past. ‘No one is perfect, after all it is the future we are looking up to, why let my past haunt me’, says Murenzi. Spouses get to know that their partners messed up when it is already too late to reverse the tide but keeping secrets still ranks high among those with a dark past. What if I confessed I was a commercial sex worker in the past, would he still love me?,’ Betty Mukuru posed. Contact: lillianean@yahoo.com