Relationships: Condoms: When blind love puts your life on spot

Just weeks in relationship, young girls suddenly forget all about condom use. LILLIAN NAKAYIMA finds out why they like ‘beeping’ God You have heard about it. The youths who discord the condom just few weeks in the relationship. One week, according to them is quite enough time to trust your fiancée and insisting on condom use is an insult; at least this is what I discovered. After spending this one week with a friend that you met at a party, you are convinced that they know each other pretty well. “If I love him so much and he has even promised to marry me, why should I be seen like I am playing hard to get,” says Dativa (not her real name). Dativa met John at an introduction party and exchanged contacts. Later, they started meeting frequently. She is now five months pregnant. “We did not go for HIV test. He was insisting he was well. When I proposed to go for blood check up, he accused me of not trusting him,” says Dativa. Though she is five months pregnant, she has not bothered to consult a doctor about her HIV status. “I fear to go for a check up, suppose I find that I am already infected?” Dativa asks innocently. The use of condoms is highly recommended especially that a high percentage of youths can’t abstain. Rwanda has too joined the campaign of promoting condom use even to the Christian faith where religious leaders are being urged to sensitise the youth on using condoms. Protected sex is credited for avoiding unwanted pregnancies. But like Dativa, many young girls will always accept to have unprotected sex. In the world of lovers, especially longtime couples, condom use is a big disaster. Complaints always arise as one partner is not willing to swallow the fact that the spouse does not trust them. “We used condoms during the early stage of our relationship, no reason for that now,” adds Ntambara, a university student.He portrays condom use as an indirect way of a girlfriend referring to him as a cheat! “If it’s her alone then why that condom!” he axclaims. At times, it’s the other way round where men tend to think that their women are cheating and that’s why they call for use of condoms. Condoms question mutual trust and intimacy in a relationship, of course if one talks of intimacy, sexual enjoyment is as well inclusive. “Sex with a condom doesn’t seem real, it still feels like there is a distance between partners and more secrets to discover,” says Joan. She says that she can only use a condom if she is cheating on her boyfriend. Esther says some women are allergic to condoms which expose them to live sex or abstinence. “Whenever I use condoms, I get terrible pain,” adds Esther. Contact: lillianean@yahoo.com