Editorial: Divorce affects children: Do not succumb to it

Sunday Magazine’s main story (page 6 and 7) titled, “When should one divorce their spouse?”, shows that nowadays divorce is the easiest resort to crumbling marriages. Yet a century ago or so, it was the last option a couple or society chose to solve marital differences. Marriage was characterised by mutual love and harmony. Normally, a wife got up and prepared meals took care of the children, and pretty much had no life other than a few people who lived in the neighbourhood. The husband went to work, made prior communication before visiting a friend(s), which is a lot different today where wives also bury themselves in work and studies and abandon domestic obligations. In the course of divorce however, children involved in broken marriages suffer most. They tend to perceive it that their parents are in a battle with each other and end up being in a dilemma of siding with one parent against the other. This does not only build anger and aggression but also a negative attitude toward the parents, expressed in tantrums, irritability, resentment, and sometimes verbal attacks. In due course, education, health and the general well-being of the children is affected at the expense of the uncalled for selfish act. The controversy over whether divorce and re-marriage is allowed according to the Bible revolves primarily around Jesus’ words in Matthew 5:32 and 19:9. The phrase “except for marital unfaithfulness” is the only thing in scripture that possibly gives God’s permission for divorce and remarriage. Though divorce is legally recognised, it should be shunned at all times. Forgiveness, counselling, mutual trust and faithfullness are key in stabilising marriage. Children have rights to education, love, shelter, good health. These can be effectively got in a stable family; when separation or divorce sets in, all is lost. This partly explains the number of street children not only in Kigali City but also in Sub-Sahara African capitals who have been abandoned or are running away from home due to torture inflicted on them by step mothers. Under any circumstances, divorce may never be a solution for marital differences for it only culminates into despair, grief, anger, and fatigue for stakeholders involved. Ends