Relationships: What to expect when meeting his parents

Vida Nakaweesa, 29, (not real names) holds her pen carefully and seemingly lost in her world, ticks off days on her calendar carefully. This is in preparation for the D-day when she will meet her fiancée’s parents. Many questions run in her mind as she finally agrees with her heart that this is the date. “Will I make the right impression? Will they understand me for who I am? What if they don’t like me?” She ponders wildly. Nakawesa is just one of the many girls out there who dread the day when what has been an affair between two people opens its windows and doors to the family members. Nakawesa says that studying her fiancée’s culture has become pertinent. She has to prepare for the first meeting with her boyfriend’s parents, planned for this weekend. She has been practicing a few words in her fiancée’s native language and has learned how to cook traditional dishes, so she can hold her own when talk turns to spices. “You have to meet his parents, which can be a nerve-wracking occasion for everyone involved,” she says. For many a lady this remains the ultimate do or die scenario. At long last, the men have found that special someone they can’t get enough of....those eyes....those dimples. And there lies the conundrum, those … parents. “Couples look at the development as a big step in their relationship because it portrays a deep sense of seriousness,” says Joy Namugerwa, a youth counselor. She adds that what happens next is often building a bond with the different members in the hope of securing a place in their hearts when you finally “join” the family.” She says meeting the family of your fiancée is like preparing for a never to re-do encounter, that will surely last a long time. Small aspects like your finger/toe nails, the dress, hand bag and accessories you have chosen for the occasion carry great importance, because they portray your personality. “It is your ticket to acceptance into your fiancée’s family. People tend to over-stress the importance of the meeting with the parents. This is because they misinterpret it as some kind of audition that would require lots of rehearsals, and it’s really not, a pass/fail test.” adds Namugerwa. “Your significant other should also give you the lay of the land so that you’re prepared for certain personalities and sensitive situations,”she says. Aidah Nalukwago 32, another counselor at Kawempe however notes that in many instances people totally disregard this step. “Rather than cherish the opportunity to get to know the parents and to be elevated to another stage in the relationship, they will do just about anything to stay away after the initial introduction,” she says. Nalukwago advises that prior to the meeting, intending spouses should find out what the parents do for a living, their hobbies or anything they could use to start up a conversation. Vicky Nakku, a 30 year old corporate lady, in one of the firms around town says she bakes cookies when she meets her boyfriends’ parents, and they are a magic wand that cast a spell to the hearts of her in-laws. “When meeting my boyfriend’s mother who had just had surgery, i put together a get-well basket containing the mom’s favorite cookies they worked,” she says. Ends