“Your age mates are busy getting married every weekend and you are still there saying that men are players. Okay, get married to a referee.” I saw this post on the timeline of a female Facebook friend. It is the latest addition to the numerous anti-women statements that are posted and shared on social media platforms on a regular basis. The post was warmly welcomed by several sexist males and self-hating females. They all commended the ‘poster’ for her maturity and wisdom. They told her to counsel her fellow women who hold an opposing view. When the unfunny and obviously unwitty sexist remarks had just infiltrated social media, I expected that they would spark outrage among people, especially women, especially women of the 21st century. I was shocked by the deafening silence that followed. But more than that, I was shocked to see women generously contributing their efforts towards society’s dogmatic disrespect for womankind. To date, it bothers me when I see women publish and promote anti-women notions created by society. Especially when those self-depreciating views are meant as unsolicited advice to fellow women. It is disheartening to see women tell themselves and other women that it is womanly to accept to be silent and passive. I am disturbed by posts from women who hold the view that there is no higher calling for a woman than to be someone’s missus. For instance, female acquaintance of mine recently posted on Facebook: “A woman must have two things; a smile, and the man who triggers that smile.” The undertone of such a post is that a woman is incapable of finding or creating her own happiness. That she is inadequate. The funny thing is that if you ask these women who are at the forefront of self-depreciation if they support women empowerment, they will confidently respond in affirmative. They will tell you that they firmly believe in the strength of a woman. However, if you ask them to paint a picture of ‘the strength of a woman,’ their imagination will limit them to a woman carrying a baby on her back while cooking with one hand and cleaning the house with the other. They do not seem to realize that by holding and sharing such biased and unrealistic views about 21st century women, they are siding with male chauvinists. They don’t seem to realise that they are providing ammunition to those who would rather that women still had no place in society. If you are the kind of woman who is in the habit of putting yourself or other women down, it is time to stop the self-depreciation. People (society) will treat you based on the way that you carry yourself. And if you are a mother or hope to be one (like I do), I think it’s important to learn to hold yourself in high regard. It is common knowledge that children learn by observation. The lessons you pass on to them about self-esteem have a lot to do with your self-image.
