Better off rejected than 'situated'

If you are unlucky (and many people are), you will like someone and they won’t like you back. Because you are not in their league. Because they sibling-zoned you. (This happens a lot to ‘brothers in Christ’). Because you’re fat. Because you’re poor. People think that this (unreciprocated feelings) is the worst possible scenario when it comes to feelings. They think it’s harsh to be told the blunt truth that the person they like simply doesn’t feel the same way. But that’s not necessarily true. Yes I get that it’s confidence-shuttering to be turned down with no hope of redemption. It leads to very many awkward moments. And chest pain. And resentment as if you are entitled to that person’s love and so they have no right to deny you it. And you end up alone. You stay single and society judges you and questions you about the measures you are taking to end your singlehood. So what could possibly be worse than that? Well, being in a situationship. This is when someone won’t commit to you but they also won’t let you lose interest in them. You keep around. You flirt and hang out and put out, but there is no mention of the future. And you can’t bring it up in conversation because then you risk being rejected. You lie to yourself, like all people in situationships do, that you are better than single people or people who have been rejected. Because half a relationship is better than none, right? You’ve drawn this crazy conclusion from society’s dysfunctional attitude towards relationships. Because society is more accepting of people in problematic relationships than they are of people who are ‘alone.’ This is especially true for women. You are less likely to get judged if you are in a relationship with a renowned cheat who gives you a black eye once in a while. Because it’s better to say, “My man beats me,” than to say, “I have no man.” Anyway, unlike rejection where you receive an undesirable but conclusive response, situationships leave you in a constant state of uncertainty. The person you like or love has commitment phobia. They will tell you wonderful things like, “You are just the perfect woman.” But they will be careful not to add “for me.” So you have to be pleasant without trying too hard. You can share your feelings but be careful not to sound too needy. You are not exclusive but you can’t show interest in another person because you don’t want to ruin the chances of the situationship turning into a relationship. It’s basically like walking on eggshells. And you can never tread lightly enough while walking on eggshells. Eventually, you will get tired of being scared and uncertain. You will bring it up in conversation and you will be told, “I’m not ready for a relationship.” You will be furious.“Why didn’t he just tell me that he wasn’t interested instead of wasting my time?” you will ask. Thereby acknowledging that you were, are better off rejected than ‘situated.’

Lifestyle

Better off rejected than 'situated'