It's still a man's world

Women’s Day. 12 a.m. I receive my first “happy women’s day” message from Wilfred. In a 20th century setting where women were bound (even by law sometimes) to be quiet, unintelligent, unquestioning beings, Wilfred and I could have been perfect together. But unfortunately, we were both born a century late. I cannot look beyond his patriarchy and he cannot stop accusing me of being an extreme feminist. I’m not a fully-fledged feminist. I’m not always up in arms defending women even when it’s uncalled-for. I like to think of myself as someone who stands on the side of justice without any prejudice. But try as I might, I do not get many opportunities to defend men. I liken it to looking for opportunities to defend lions. Like it or not, the world is still theirs to conquer. They are at the top of the food chain. There aren’t many animals willing to throw the first punch. That’s why you are more likely to come across unsolicited and sometimes very offensive advice to women about how to get a man, how to treat him, please him, keep him…than you are likely to find the same advice to men about women. That’s why in most African settings, every time women try to challenge the status quo, to take up a ‘man’s role’ they are accused of being stubborn, insubordinate and unwomanly. And men who support this ‘insubordination’ are thought to be unmanly or even bewitched. Still, the 21st century has seen more and more women become educated and therefore more independent and more opinionated. And patriarchal males like Wilfred are threatened by this turn of events. They are fighting hard to keep women ‘in their place.’ I used to think that this kind of reaction was nothing more than males nursing their egos. But then I realized that some of them genuinely believe that they are defending themselves in what they think is now a woman’s world. But is it really a woman’s world? The answer is “Not even close.” And ironically, women’s day, of all days, points out clearly just how male-dominated this world is. For instance, many married male Facebook friends posted about being “in charge of the kitchen today.” And everyone applauded them for being wonderful husbands. These men’s wives have paying jobs. They work from am to pm earning bread just like their husbands. And then they return home and for 364 days, they slave away in the kitchen while their husbands sit around being ‘manly’-putting their feet up and waiting to be served. And on the one day their husbands set foot in the kitchen, they are heroes because after all, no matter how far a woman goes in her career, most people expect her to maintain her place in the kitchen. So Wilfred and every one of his kind can relax. It’s still a man’s world. The celebration of Women’s Day is just one of the few bones that have been thrown at them. But as one male Facebooker said, “To imply that indeed women have potential or have achieved something worth commemorating is to say that it’s not common or expected of them, which is demeaning to say the least.”

Lifestyle

It's still a man's world