DEBATE: Are godparents still relevant?

Not really. Everything has evolved. I am Muslim, so I won’t even try to go into how ridiculous it probably sounds to a traditional Christian when I mention that my child actually has godparents. Thankfully, this is 2016 so not many people hold traditional views about many things anymore, especially when it comes to godparents and their role as scripted centuries ago. Not that I even really care. When I chose my three friends to be my daughter’s godparents, I was proud of my decision because I knew very well that as long as they live, she will always have them in her corner, whether I am here or not. My choice had nothing to do with spiritual guidance; mine was a decision that was influenced by both people’s track records as far as my friendship with them goes. Are they reliable? What kind of journey have I been on with them over the years? Do they value friendships and relationships? And thank God that so far, so good. But that is not the centre of our topic today, what we are here to discuss is whether this role is still relevant. Maybe it is, maybe it isn’t. I think it all depends on your expectations and standards when it comes to delivery but let’s be honest, who of you has been doing what is expected of them as a godparent? If you have, you must tell us how you do it. The truth is, there seems to be no more time left to do anything anymore. There are jobs; there are evening classes, if you are lucky, you can squeeze in an hour to exercise. On top of this, you have a husband who has expectations, children who need your attention and basically a home to run. How can you possibly add another responsibility to nurture and guide another child when things are barely working in your own home? For those who believe in the spiritual guidance that is required of them, where do you actually get the time to read a Bible or even go to church? I personally don’t see the point in appointing someone to a role that they will never fulfill. Then there is the issue of money. Most people are pinching pennies. You can’t afford to buy a cake on your godchild’s birthday; you can’t afford to buy a simple gift, where will you get the money to board a taxi or taxi moto to go and visit? Some people will say that there are phones, but if you can afford to buy airtime, what kind of relationship can you nurture on a phone? Sometimes I look back and I wish that things were still the same way they were when we were growing up. Things were most definitely easier. There were not so many demands and the expectations were equally less. If any of my child’s godparents fails to deliver, I will be sad but I will not hold it against them, as it is, I am having a hard time keeping up with anything these days. editorial@newtimes.co.rw Yes, you just need to choose the right ones I remember quite well, the way my godmother smiled at me from the bench on which she sat during my First Holy Communion and about two years later, my Confirmation. I also remember how she held my hand after mass, with the same smile plastered on her face, only wider now, clearly proud of what I had just achieved. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t remember the huge cake she came with on both occasions, with lots of food and drinks in tow. I remember how keen she was on my school report card and the letters she’d send me encouraging me to study hard and be the best I can be. To be honest, as I got older, we lost touch but I’m happy and grateful that in the days that I needed her most, she was there for me. With its origin dating back to an era we read about in books, there’s really no surprise that the notion of the term “godparents” has changed. But there is very little that’s clear about just what it has changed to. Godparents were originally expected to guide the child along their spiritual path and were required to guarantee (along with the parents of course) that the child would be raised in the faith into which they were baptised. They were also expected to care for the child, if both parents became unable to, especially in the case of death. Nowadays, however, it looks like godparents are only chosen for no other reason other than the fact that they (and the parents) are close. Now, of course the godparents and parents should be close, however, I have a number of close friends and I can assure you it’s best if some just sit this one out. The relevance of godparents is still solid; people just need to choose the right ones. Does this person understand your faith? That’s the most important thing, for who better than a godparent to guide them spiritually? These days, fewer people assign a set of godparents with the hope that the chosen pair will help boost their child’s religious culture. I know someone who became a godmother because she was good at buying tequila shots. Four times she actually met the mother and it was a done deal. It’s been two years and this godmother doesn’t even know where they live. And this is the problem we have now, choosing godparents who could actually care less. Perhaps we are in an era where godparents do not necessarily have to be of the same religion. They might probably not even ‘get’ the concept of religion. What matters right now is that the people you choose are great role models to the child and also, in the event that you are not around (God forbid), they’ll be more than happy to take over or least check in from time to time. If we could just assign duty to people we strongly believe are up for it, perhaps there’d be no need to doubt the significance of godparents. rachel.garuka@newtimes.co.rw

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DEBATE: Are godparents still relevant?