'How' beats 'what' every time

One of the most accessible practices of spirituality can be found in the art of giving. Giving can be a series of acts - mindless monetary donations to charity or routinely sharing leftovers with those who go hungry without looking them in the eyes or acknowledging their struggle – or it can become an art. When we can join our hopes for peace and dignity, our compassionate and caring presence, and our willingness to be vulnerable in the face of another’s suffering along with the actions that improve another’s experience, then it becomes an art. And when we are practicing such an art, what we give becomes much less important than how we give it. So how is giving a spiritual practice? Well, it reminds us of our shared humanity – that idea that we are not alone and isolated, and in fact, we are all in this together. Truly! Your experience of sadness or grief could become my experience tomorrow. My poor financial situation or lack of comfort could be all yours next week. The art of giving keeps us aware that we all have something to be grateful for and it is our duty, maybe even our ethical obligation, to give of ourselves freely and openly and without expectation of return. It doesn’t have to be in Rwandan francs or in jewelry, and it doesn’t have to be what we think others need. We all have something special to give and it is not our place to judge what we have to offer the world. It is simply our job to give it; to give it often and to give it with kindness. We can give anything we have, from physical talents to mental perspectives to spiritual insights, as long as we give with dignity and without reservation. Many people think giving has to be elaborate. It does not. Giving can mean smiling at a stranger or the willingness to listen to someone’s story. We sometimes think that what we have – that who we are – isn’t good enough or that no one wants it from us. But we are wrong. Giving becomes a unique contribution of who we are. Grounded spiritual practices, such as giving, impact our sense of wellbeing in countless ways. By regularly connecting with our shared humanity, we come to know that we are not alone in our illness or diagnosis; we learn that others too struggle with health challenges and setbacks. We come to understand the importance of being present to all life has to teach us because we are constantly growing and evolving. Over time, we stop talking about the spiritual practices that many religious traditions espouse and we start living them. We come to know them as truths that guide our lives and inform what is most important. So what will you give today? More importantly, how will you give it? How beats what every time. Billy Rosa is a Registered Nurse, Integrative Nurse Coach, Visiting Faculty, University of Rwanda

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'How' beats 'what' every time